Sad Girl, Thanks. I don't know why, but I need to see that my W is hurt somehow-I know it is wrong, but I really feel completely stomped on, and $HIT ON, and had my nose rubbed in it.
I dunno, I just feel like she gets to do whatever she wants, and there isn't anything I can do about it-just doesn't seem fair.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
SD, you "get" to conduct yourself with class and dignity. You "get" to show a good example to your boys. You "get" to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you live and honorable life. While it may feel unfair now, you "get" to be the person that those boys admire and want to be like.
Hi SD. I wanted to see my H suffer too. I think thats one of the big reasons that I reported him to his captain. It happened a little bit at a time, and now he is stuck in long term unhappiness, so I enjoy that a little. Maybe it makes me not quite as good of a person as others, but eh, Im really not that worried about it. And when the OW dumped him, it broke his heart, and I think thats when his suffering really started. Thats when his fantasy crashed and burned, and he realized that he had given up everything for someone who didnt really care about him at all.
Ill bet dollars to doughnuts that this guy in Dallas flies to other cities and has other women in them. She will get hers, and you, operating with strength and honor, will be able to hold your head high and know that you always did the right thing, even when it wasnt easy.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I don't know why I feel the need to see another person suffer-especially my W, but it just doesn't seem fair-well NONE of this is fair huh?
My boys and I are almost ready to get on the road to Mom's house. We are excited-we love road trips!!!
It is going to be so hard to not think of what she is doing on Christmas, and if she really went somewhere-that kind of stuff just eats at me sometimes. I think that is the controller in me.
When my oldest left the house, she tried to hug him, he just brushed past her and got in the truck. I told him he needs to respect his M, and he quickly replied "she doesn't respect us or you, so why should I respect her?"
I quickly explained to him that he still needed to respect his M, and he just said ok.
I have to get her and what she "might" be doing out of my mind. THIS IS WHAT I STRUGGLE WITH MORE THAN ANYTHING...
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
SD - When you detach, you may find the peace you are looking for. Don't make me whack you, please. I can't even find my 2x4. It's in the back of the closet, along with my courage. Peace. Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
When my oldest left the house, she tried to hug him, he just brushed past her and got in the truck. I told him he needs to respect his M, and he quickly replied "she doesn't respect us or you, so why should I respect her?"
Wow! Very smart young MAN. And you handled this perfectly. This is precisely why you have to model strength and honor for your boys. Where else are they going to see what a REAL man is supposed to be and do? Good job friend.
I am really sorry you are going through this and even more so because your W is letting loose with some extremely inappropriate behavior and words. Take a deep breath, step back and see her behavior for what it is - desperation. Vindictiveness is NOT born out of security, strength and honor. It is the product of fear and weakness. She can't elevate herself to your level, but she can sure as he11 try to pull you down to her's. And that is why she is doing it - it's her only weapon. Don't fall into that trap buddy. And you won't.
Have a great time with your boys at your mom's. They really need you right now. They need to know you love them and that no matter what you will always be there for them.
I am continuing to pray for you (and many others here).
Oh, and keep venting here. Much better to us than someone in your family.
"God didn't promise you that life would be fair but that He would be just."
Yes, you are the responsible adult right now and need to act accordingly. You want to be able to look yourself in the mirror and say that you handled it the way a strong and honorable man would. Your boys are looking at you and they know you are hurting but you are modeling character traits you want them to have in their lives. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
