On the contrary, I was the root cause of most of them! And I've beat myself up for over a year now, and it hasn't helped the situation one bit. And I've eaten alot of sh!t from her too during this time...tons of it! I validated, and I owned it. I had to be honest with myself though in order to get better and learn. Don't you think it's been enough time of validating and eating plate after plate of sh!t?
Your not alone in this, as I had many of the same behaviors as you in my MR, so I understand how you feel.
But, GIMA is right, He has some great advice above. You're continuing to focus on this, is a road to depression. You must learn to forgive yourself for this, and acknowledge and accept where you are right now.
I understand the hurt my STBXW was dealt by things I did, as I am sure you did. The only thing we can do is accept they have made the decision they have made for themselves compassionately.
What your W has done, has opened your eyes to be a better man. That is a positive. Start there, and make more positive steps. GAL, take up things you have always wanted to do for you.
Read those books, go to IC, do the things suggested every day, every minute if you have to, and you'll start to get some more perspective on yourself.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
