Because people are emotional, reactive creatures! Thats exactly why they are so dumb. We spiral between anger, sadness, and panic. And the choices that we make while experiencing those emotions are rarely good ones.

Its important that you can recognize these patterns of behavior. Knowing when you are "Replaying old tapes" of how the two of you interact is important. You know exactly how the fights that wont lead you anywhere develop. Dont let them happen, engaging her in an arguement is just a waste of your time, energy and emotion.

Someone said something on another thread recently, Im not sure that I totally agree with it, but it does strike a certain chord within me. So here- Are you willing to spend a year in limbo (working on yourself- that parts mine) to make it to your 50th wedding anniversary?

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...