Dont ignore the warning signs (warning, Im venting

[g450]

Guys I just want to clear up some things here.

My venting was nothing more than just that...venting. I wanted to get some anger out and not let her see it.

Fact is, I love her dearly. Even though she is cold and sometimes nasty towards me I am doing my best to be the nice guy (because I am a nice guy, always have been).

What do I want? Very simple. I want my wife back. But the person she has become is not my wife it seems. Even after all she has done I still want her and love her.

I am DBing and trying to do all the things I am supposed to do, detaching, doing 180s, not being needy toward her etc. Changing things about me for the better etc.

I'm doing all that but it has no affect on her. She should be out of my house by mid to late Feb. At this point I'm not sure if it is more painfull for me to see her leave or to let her stay. Either option is torture for me. At least with her here she can see I'm changing so Im not in a big rush.

You right, I am probably grieving. But I'm not concerned with that right now. I'm concerned and concetrating with doing all the DBing I need to do to get her to change her mind.

Right now it looks inevitable that we will be legally divorced in Feb 2010. But to me it's just a piece of paper. I will always love her. I still have hope that she may wake up and realize she made a mistake. Maybe she didn't but I may never know.

I will continue to do the DBing thing and possibly the Last Resort strategy thing soon. It can't hurt since she want's nothing to do with me except when she needs help with financial or computer stuff. Either way I will work on myself as well.

I think some of you are reading me wrong and that was my fault. Yes I was angy and vented here but I DO NOT hate my wife. I love her no matter what she does. And I told her that. But after a month of this it is wearing down on me. I see no results and its frustrating. And yes I know this could take months if not years.

I do not plan on waiting forever for her to come back. I'm not getting any younger and I crave love and affection in my life. I guess my heart will ultimatally be the judge of when it will be time to let go and start over.