That is what she needs to realize.....but you can't tell her in words, you have to tell her in action. I feel like I say the same stuff all the time, but she has to "miss" being M to you. She has to be concerned that you won't be waiting for her to make up her mind, forever.
You aren't going out, and you go running when she calls.....so why should she worry about anything? You don't have to sow wild oats. Don't you have friends or relatives? Can't you do something that is tame? Do you have hobbies, sports, church, club, library.....something?
She's being a tease.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hey Sandi, thanks for hanging in here with me.....Just let myself get a little down today......I'm ok and actually went and hung out with a very good friend of mine.....He knocked some sense in me, although he thinks I'm crazy for even thinking of working anything out with ex.......He knows us well and we all did things as couples for years.....He thinks I am nuts for not seeing the lady I had been and evening thinking of ex.....I know this is my decision to make and it is all up to me....
I have been really concentrating on the bad things that happened in our M.....Guess that is why I got depressed....Alot of bad to think about....I'm not sure we could ever work things out....It would take alot of work and I'm not sure either of us are up to it....Just gonna take some time to really think and pray.....I love her, but just not sure right now what to do...
Maybe if you just decided that the M you had.....is dead, and you need to grieve it and get past it. Then, begin to focus on the possiblity of a fresh start......and whatever may be out there for you. Hopefully, it will be a new M with your W......but whatever it is, we want you to be happy.
Friends & relatives have a hard time being neutral b/c they don't want to see us hurt......so of course they find it hard to understand how a person could keep loving somebody that did so much hurt. I hope your W realizes what a gem she has in you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi, you are the gem....I am just a simple guy that did not figure things out until it was gone....I almost choked when I read your post, because all day I have been thinking that I just need to let it go.....If she comes back, she does, if not there will be better times ahead.....It is amazing what you have posted.....
I am going to start building a new beginning......As you say, it would be nice if ex wants to join in at some point, but if not, I have got to make myself happy....I love her and still want to finish what we started, but I can't make her feel something she does not feel....Someday I believe she wiil realize, but I just hope it is not too late.....She seems to be softening some, so I am going to just let her work on things for awhile......I will leave her alone and let her fight her battles....No more being there to protect her....
Sandi, thank you so much.....I will keep posting and please keep giving me the advice I need....
I am not going to lose what I feel.....I do love her, but this is up to her to figure out.....She is coming around some, but I am making it too easy for her....Both of my boys have even said that....This is sad to say, but they think I am crazy for ending things with the woman i was seeing...They both really liked her and she was crazy about them......Maybe I should listen to them.....Only thing is, my heart is still with my ex and I want to make sure this si done.....I'm just ready to quit hurting.....I know the only to do is to move on and make a life for myself....If at some point she decides she wants to join me, it will be up to me as to what we do....
I won't give up on you. Just don't make any decisions right now about the other friend your family likes. If your heart is still in love with your W, then you need to get past that before you try to have a real R with OW. If you can have a friendship with her without it breaking her heart......then it may help you. Sounds like you are caught between these two women. Your kids desires puts a lot of pressure on you. Just be careful.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, Do you ever sleep? Thanks for being here though...I woke up this morning thinking about where I was and where I want to go...I don't have to be alone....My friend has said that, but I don't want to hurt her anymore than she is.....I wish we could be friends right now, but I think she will feel it is more....To be quite honest, at some point, it definitely could be more....You are right in that I am caught between these two women....They both have good and bad qualities.....The thing is, one is ready to take our relationship to another level and I'm not sure about that....The other can't figure out her feelings for me and if she is willing to try again......So, in a way I am just kind of stuck here for now...
I know this or at least I think I do....My oldest son is a senior this year....His last year of baseball is coming up as well as all the things seniors do.....My ex and I will be attending alot of things together.....If that does not make her come to some conclusions about things, then I don't know if she ever will....Just gonna take it one day at a time I guess.
I personally believe that if we have any doubts about moving forward in a R, then we don't need to. I think that is why a lot of rebound M's happen b/c people are trying to block out the pain of another R. I just want you to have some kind of life apart from your XW.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
