Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Hi Dennis,

It was helpful. I've been doing a lot of introspective thinking about getting divorced. I think that because I have a deep-seated fear of abandonment, and lived through my parent's bitter divorce where I was often placed in the middle, that the thought of being divorced felt like a HUGE failure to me, and a very scary proposition.

I am slowly, mentally coming to terms with it. I know I'll be OK. I think the kids will be OK, although who knows what the fallout of all this will be in their futures since they are at such an age of development.

I am detaching more from H. I don't really think about him 24/7...more like 2/7! LOL

Thing that still bother me:
That H thinks everything will "be fine" during the divorce process, like I don't have hurt feelings to process, or anger...

That I may not want H after all is said and done, once a D is final. Will I be able to trust him again if he 'comes back'-trust that he really would love me and stay with me the rest of our lives? I know thats a "nonsense" worry since I may never get to that place, and if so its WAY down the road...

That my girls will have to split there time between two homes, potentially--thats hard on kids!

Libby,

Whether a D is imminent or not is hard to predict..So don't. As you can see with my situation, I've been asked for a D twice by my H. This time he's going further, letting the lawyer file papers...I still don;t know if we'll get to the end and be divorced..possibly since the timetable is short in CO(90 days). But,,alot can happen in 90 days! (See Finally Free/Happy Again's posts- the links are on page 24 of this thread)...

Be prepared either way. Be OK either way. Be strong and calm within yourself.