Last night was the 1 week anniversary of the final order.
I will give her the time she needs because she is worth it. However, she did acknowledge that she knew that I would not wait forever and that I would not be a puppet on her strings. (she brought that up, not me, although we do have an uncanny ability to read each others' minds and I was thinking that) She also stated that when she dropped the bomb she took a gamble that I would not just say “to H@!! With you,” and hit the road, never to be seen again and she said she did not want that. I get the feeling that she is thinking to herself that she just got a divorce last week and that she is not suppose to have the hugie kissie feeling toward her ex. While she does not seem to mind the public display of affection (PDA) the hugs and kisses and the back and neck rubs, the hand holding, etc, she does have a problem with PDA around anyone that knows we are divorced, i.e. her friends and family. It will take time for her to work through that emotional conflict.
One positive last night is that while walking out to the back deck she “accidently” brushed her hand against me a little below my belt buckle. In fact, it was such a light touch that I did not even notice it, but she mentioned she touched me immediately. I would not think much about that except that she did the same thing Saturday, (except I did notice it then and that touch was not an accident)
A definite positive to finish out the evening though (along with so many positives throughout the evening that I can not remember them all) when she was sitting in her car getting ready to go and I was squatting down by the open door, she bent over and started kissing and tonging my neck and kept it up for about 20 seconds. Definitely more that a peck or incidental action. One of my Goals was to have her kiss my neck like that again.
Several goals achieved last night. Although things might not be moving as fast as I would like, if it did move that fast it would be too much for her to handle and maybe even too much for me to handle as well. So the pace for now is slow and steady.
Also since several goals were achieved it is time to redefine set new ones. One will be to get More neck kisses like the last one.
