I appreciate the support and enthusiasm but in the end of the day, my boys will only see each parent 50% of the time.
life continues
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I'm not sure congratulations are in order, but you appear to have really done well w/the settlement agreement. I hope you start to find some peace in this situation now.
You're still #1 on the guys' list!!! Have they contacted you about another interview yet?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
She wound up texting and then calling me a little later in the afternoon, guess after she calmed down, and asked who was going to get the kids this weekend. I told her that since I'm suppose to have Xmas day this year, I should get next weekend and she can have this one. The only issue I had was that I had told my boys that we would go see Santa on Sat to give him the letters they had written.
She said that I can have then Fri and Sat nites then and she will just take them on Sun AM. It amazes me how readily she gives up her time with the boys..... guess she had more important plans already.... utter nonsense....
What was also odd was that she called the boys about 7PM saying that she was going to bed soon so she wanted to say goodnite. I don't know who she is trying to fool here, but whatever.....
FIDO
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I'm not sure congratulations are in order, but you appear to have really done well w/the settlement agreement. I hope you start to find some peace in this situation now.
You're still #1 on the guys' list!!! Have they contacted you about another interview yet?
Thanks Mindfull.... and you're right, there's not much to be happy about but at least I'm moving closer to closure. Even today, I told her that I want this to be put behind me as much as she wants to because I there is no point for me to wait for her to change her mind. Even though this is not what I believe is the right answer, I accept this is what I must move on from.
Relative to the opportunity you helped me get introduced to, so far I've only been able to talk with 4 of the 6 guys. Hopefully I'll sync up with the last 2 over the next couple of days then I'll ping the big guy back to see what the next steps are. Thanks for the feedback and all your help!
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
CIPA, my congratulations were focused on her having to pay you child support. It is heart-breaking that you will only get to see the boys half the time. That just plain sucks -- for now.
However, I don't think this will be the case in the future. Judging from your STBX's irrational behavior and her obvious self-interest overriding all maternal instincts, I'd bank on you seeing more of the boys than 50%. The secret to this is not to show her your pleasure in having them more. If she thinks she is "punishing" you with it... then she'll give you more access to the kids so she can continue her disgusting search for "True Love."
Its then your job to thoroughly document all incidents she does this. She IS going to neglect the children. Document that too. Keep track of her. She is going to slip up badly. When that happens, and if that is want you want, you can go for full custody within a year.
No appologies are necessay - rereading my post it came accross harsher/stronger than it should have. Yesterday was just a really crappy emotional day, much like all of them this year
2010 will be here soon..... can't wait as 2009 was crap....
i appreciate your support and I appologize for any misunderstanding.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Sorry to hear about all the drama your W is causing. It gets irritating when our WASs have a "holier than thou" attitude and is willing to be selfish above the needs of their own kids. My W was and is the same way.
When my W gets like that, I actually call her out on it like an adult speaking to a child. I don't get upset, I just tell her like it is.
My prayers are going out to you and your family.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
but it turns out I had been overpaying her by almost $500/month. Her lawyer looked like a smacked ass as he started by saying I should have been paying $1000/month more!
I which I could have been a fly on the wall watching all of that. So, will she have to repay you for all that generous support you overpaid her? I think it is just funny the way it came back on that lawyer.....
Sweetie, you knew that it was probably going to be 50/50 custody, so try to accept it the way you have been doing with other things......and refuse to let it beat you down into the ground. You can be the best dad giving his 100% even in a 50% custody arrangement. Before you know it, those kids will be at the age they can say which parent they want to live with. At least that is in some states.
I wanted to drop by and wish you a Merry Christams to you and your two little guys. You have described them so much that I can almost see them in my mind. I am really praying that 2010 is going to make a huge difference in your life.....for the better, I might add. You deserve it and you have dealt with a lot of pain this past year, but overcame like a trooper. I am proud of you and know these others are too.
So...what are your plans for New Years Eve?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
