Okay, just venting because I am frustrated and impatient. I am ready for my H to pull his head out of wherever it is and man up and be the role model my son needs and had for most of his life. My S is starting to act up a lot it seems. He is not "bad", but is starting to get into trouble more at school, etc. He got in trouble at home this morning over something with his sister.
I do feel that the past few months of having an "absent" father is taking a toll on him and it is so hard to not say anything. My H is hanging around home today and heard about the trouble between my S and D. I was just upset at that point because I feel like I am doing my very best but I cannot be my S's dad, no matter how hard I try. My H went and talked to him. Then he came to talk to me and wanted to know what was bothering me. I am so tired of biting my tongue. Does he really not know? I did finally say something about how S seems to be more deeply affected by everything than he lets on most of the time. My H acknowledges that may be true and he was going to talk to him about stuff more, etc.
All that is going through my head is that talk is cheap, he needs to see things modeled to him. S is not stupid. I didn't say that, don't worry. He apparently still feels that all that is required of him as a parent is "talking to" his son and taking him to see a movie every few weeks. Yup, that will do it.
I am just venting here. I have to keep myself in check and realize how much better things are now than they were at the beginning of the year, that progress has been made, and that at times he seems like he is "waking up." I just miss the real H and the husband and father he was. SO MUCh better than the "new, improved" version of him. The stress of it and burden of it just sometimes is overwhelming.
