They are 8 and 12 and I know they don't mean bad - I explained the my behaviour to them as good as I could.

There are so many things which come together right now - X-Mas alone or the first time, the money which would have helped so much, all WH's family coming together for X-mas and him telling them what b*tch I have been for the last 4 years (he said to me when we had the fight about the mortgage 2 weeks ago that I was useless the last 4 years)
frown I just feeel so helpless sometimes and I hate everyone hearing all the half stories about me.

I have been mum and dad for my kids for 4 years out of our 6 years marriage and I have been useless... I really am so
angry I could scream all day. And don't even get me started on the whole infidelity issue...