Out of boredom, went through H's list of friends on fb. What a way to keep my expectations in check. Am now feeling rather naive and foolish for thinking he could be turning a corner. The list of scantly-clad, sub-30 year old girls is nauseating. It's pretty obvious from his list of friends that going back to being a family man is not on his agenda.
Need to remind myself that although he may be coming out of MLC, it doesn't mean he'll want his family back.
Haven't heard from H since he's been away. So much easier to detach when there's no contact. Annoyed with myself though because, as good as I am at detaching when there's NC, I turn to mush at the simple sight of his name showing up on my phone when he calls.
Feeling the need to move forward with the D - as if that would give me some control of the situation. Not a good reason, is it? Losing my balance, my patience, and my compassion for H. (All triggered by his fb friend list!)
