SD - My XW was sleeping with my next door neighbor and living with him and forced him to kick his W out. I take my oldest son to the train station every morning at 6:15am so he can go to school and then I come back home to get my other 2 boys to school. My XW was telling my boys that she was not with the neighbor. But every morning when I came out with my oldest son, she would come out of the neighbor's garage (at 6:15am) right in front of my oldest son. I confronted her about doing that in front of our son. So she started waiting for me to come back from the train station to get my two youngest sons and would make sure she came out when I drove back in around 6:45am. It was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with.
I got through it by constantly repeating the words Strength and Honor to myself. I started to ignore her actions and eventually, her actions and flaunts had no effect on me whatsoever.that's what my boys needed me to do. You need to summon inner strength right now. I promise you that you can do it. You know the worst case scenario, and you can handle it. You can.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Another Saturday morning I got up with the boys to play kickball in the backyard. Early into the game I hear a noise over by the neighbor's backdoor. I look over and my XW is in her underwear out on the backdeck and the neighbor starts grabbing his crotch making gestures at me.
I quickly made an excuse to go inside and got the boys inside. You see, their mother told them she had to work that Saturday and couldn't make her visitation. I didn't want them to see that and have them know the truth. For them. For me, I wanted to expose her to everyone for what she was and had become. The love for my boys won out.I thought about how bad they would have felt to know the truth and thought about the looks on their faces every time she disappoints them. That's the most important thing right now. Your boys. Keep those looks off their faces. You are the rock. They look up to you and will for the rest of their lives because of the way you are going to handle this.
Strength and Honor.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Well, Yesterday was awesome, other than a little hiccup involving my W. I looked forward to picking up my boys all day. I completed the chores I had to get done, and on my way to pick them up, I get a text from my W, saying that if I called them one more time before 8 pm, she would notify my chain, and notify her attorney. This is because in the agreement we signed, we both agreed that once I got back to KUWAIT, I would only call during those set hours, so not to disrupt homework, etc-even though she has NEVER helped either of them with homework-not smart enough. Well, I looked at the agreement, and it doesn't say in writing, in KUWAIT. Sooooo, I didn't reply, and just drove to the house to get them. Once there, I turned on my voice recorder-just to cover myself. As I pull up in front of the house, they are all standing outside, my wife wearing a santa hat-looking her usual tired self. My oldest comes over and tells me that he will see me tomorrow-which we agreed, due to cello lesson early in a.m. My W and the youngest are still in drive way, and he tells me she is telling him how much she loves him, and that she will miss him, a few tears falling down her face. He finally got into the truck, and we left. On the way, my S12, tells me, "O, D, mom sent some of your jackets with me, they are in my bag" FUNNY of her. She also made it a point to tell S12 that she was going out last night. Had a great time last night with S 12, have lots to do today as well. Then Sunday off to M's, for Christmas.
I thought and thought last night, whether I wanted to send an e-mail to the new guy in my wife's life, but I decided that he would be able to figure her out on his own after a few months.
It is alot easier with my kids with me. Keeps my mind off of things. I can't believe how big they both have gotten, and smart too!!! They know everything!!!
Ok, guys, send me some guidance, what am I to do now-after the holidays?
I am enjoying the company, and love of my children, and want to continue to make positive steps towards my happiness-although, waking up this morning and seeing my son sleeping made me the happiest I have been in months.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I thought and thought last night, whether I wanted to send an e-mail to the new guy in my wife's life, but I decided that he would be able to figure her out on his own after a few months.
Exactly. Would you have accepted a letter from one of your wife's ex-BFs warning you away? Plus, anything you say or do will be seen as interfering with your wife.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Trent, was jsut talking with my son, he mentioned that OM had bben to the house twice that he knows of-reason I know this-he said the guys name-I didn't ask. Evidently OM fixed one of my boys quads, and was there to pick it up, and then to drop it off.
Needlesss to say-that hurt.
I really despise the woman. She just has no regard for anyone but herself.
I gotta get to detaching-it is so hard, as I want to "fix"/"rescue" her from all of this.
But then I ask myself the same question: Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Short answer: NOPE
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I agree about contacting or confronting OM about anything, SD. There's nothing good to come from that. He's not worth your time.
Early in my sitch I attempted to sit down and write an Email to the OM, who I had thought was my friend. When I tried to do so I realized I had nothing constructive to say, and soon after realized it was because the person I was dealing with had lost all sense of decency. There was nothing to reach or reason with.
Age: 28 Wife's Age: 28 Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off) Married: Less than one year Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
Today has been a great day with my boys, but they have volunteered alot of information about my wife, that I really had no idea about.
She has a pic of the guy from Dallas and her, in her wallet, and has shown both of them. Also, the OM that is in the Army, has been INSIDE of my home. She has even introduced them to him.
My stomach literally lurched, and I almost threw up when my oldest told me that. I just don't get it.
This just isn't fair. I am bearing all of this emotional pain, and she just does whatever she wants-no questions asked/no repercussions.
I know my time will come-I know it will, but this just hurts so bad. She is out AGAIN tonight-probably going to bring OM to my house, as both my boys are now with me. I honestly get nauseous when I think about it-and believe me, I try NOT to think about it.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it? Showing pictures to your boys is bat [censored] crazy. I can't imagine what your boys are feeling about her. Poor kids.
It's not fair, but trust me, there will be repercussions for her. This whole thing will bite her in the butt eventually.
Don't waste the precious time you have with your boys thinking about her.
