You know, I think you are dead on with my sitch...funny cuz not sure how you know all this!! Everything you are saying is him to a tee and I have been confused about the DB approach and thought it might not work in my case. First point....when he first left, they say detach, etc...LRT, NC and if I stuck to that I believe H and I might be D by now.
However, I do think I needed to set boundaries because I truly feel like he was cake-eating to the max!
H does drink on a nightly basis which is a BIG issue...However, I married him that way. During our marriage though I think I helped him manage it to a degree but then my dad died (53 y.o) last year and I completely fell apart. So when I fell apart I think "we" fell apart and I have tried to communicate that with him but H in fog still. I have been to IC a few times and I have not found one that I connected with. When H first walked out I made him go to MC but it was unproductive and H just validated all the typical WAS script.
Something I am not okay with though is R he has with ex-gf and new girl...H says they are friends and there's nothing wrong. This to me is a manic statement but I think H truly beleives it. Anything that you "hide" from your spouse is questionable at best.
H has shown suicidal tendencies and I did address it immediately but not to authorities. If he does it again, I will. H comes from very broken family. Father was A & DA and left his mom when H was 3 and H has NC with him. So sadly it seems as if history is repeating itself with our sitch in a way although H says he will always financially suuport his kids (unlike his oen F) and H thinks thats good enough. H mother dysfunctional as well and has physichiatric stuff (suddle).
