Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

I gotta only see her as the mother of my children and nothing more. Period. I gotta really go of it all. Period. I know I'm a better man now, and I'm a better dad now, and I will be a better partner too...and what she thinks or believes about any of this shouldn't matter a hoot. But it does. And I don't want it to.

I agree with you that self-esteem, self-confidence, and optimism are the cure.

My situation is a little different from many here in that, I screwed up BAD by being angry, resentful, and abusive. I was this way for years. I was this way to her and to our kids. It was because of problems I had...not because of anything they were doing. I'm not that way anymore, and I understand the dynamics of it now...but it's still something that I have to stay aware of and work at.

And it's hard to live with what I've done, and with what I've lost because of it.

I've done EVERYTHING in my power to rectify and make amends...but it wasn't enough to save the marriage because I was the only one interested in saving it.

I want to be a happy man, and I want to be a great dad, and a great partner to someone who will return likewise. I'm just in a place right now where it's hard to see all these things becoming a reality.