Thanks for the welcome to piecing Opt and Water - In reading some threads several weeks ago I noticed one that I liked and copied it to my journal - I do not know who posted it or who the poster was responding to but it seemed to hit me squarly on all fours. “D is not the end of your M. You can still start a new life and a better M with your ex W. Treat her like your best friend, and date her like a new girlfriend. Bryan is right. I think your W still has a deep feeling for you. Act as if she is a new girlfriend, you know best how to win your W heart back.” I then looked at, then tailored my goals to get her back rather than stop the D.
As a WAW she has build up lots of pain and hurt over the last year or so. While I believe that she felt that she had to go through with the D to dump her hurt and pain I do not believe that she filed with the idea of starting fresh with me. Although there might have been a sub-conscious desire to get back together, (she always wanted to stay friends) I feel that she thought that we would not stay together and it would be the end. I do not believe she imaged that I would DB as hard as I did. That has caught her by surprise and I have noticed a lot of shifting of her future plans as a result. I am starting to hear her include me in some of these plans. (I.E. future cruise, going with me to a convention in Boston next year., etc.) Although she says she is still not ready to think about going away with me for a weekend or so now she said she is open to that idea later if things keep going as they are. Also her saying that she felt that she can start to tear down that WAW brick wall is very promising.
I will keep DBing as hard as I can as I feel that it is a life long process. Need to re-read DR and redefine my goals as they relate to piecing. One goal continues the same though - hear ILY again. However another one - to see her really smile again happened yesterday several times and I got it on my camera. (I had taken my Digital camera with me, to show her photos of my camping trip, but in reality to have it just in case there was a good photo opt.) She seemed to like being in front of the camera so that is something I will try to do more of. She does make a good photo subject. I also need to re-read 5LL. If anyone has any ideas on any other books that I can learn from on my piecing then please let me know.
Opt - I do not see filing for D as a DB technique. While it can be a good 2x4 to whop your spouse upside the head with to get their attention, I feel that there must be another way to do that though, remember it takes one to tango.
Thanks again for the welcome and I will keep posting.
