First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pearl, Rocked, Addie.

Wow, sounds like I'm talking to a bunch of Olive Oyl's here! W is currently 5'3" and 107 or so. She'll believes me that I think she looks better at 112 or so, but she "feels" best at 106-108. And I just had to laugh Rocked when you said you were a size 2. I don't remember which comedian said it, but I just remember her saying she was a size 2 or 4, depending on the shop she was in. Made me laugh, cause that's W. Depending on the shop she's either a 0 or 2 or 4. I think the clothing manufacturers do that on purpose to you women. They make clothes a little bigger and then put a smaller size on them because they know you guys all love saying "I'm a 2" instead of "I'm a 4".

Pearl, I like your suggestion. While I do compliment her all the time, I can see where a lot of those compliments are not specific and more along the lines of "you look hot today" or stuff like that. I'll try making them specific, because I do love how she smiles when she talks about our boys and I JUST FREAKING LOVE this little thing she does when she's getting ready after a shower. She stands there, puts her weight on her right leg and rolls her left toes under so she's kind of standing on the top of her left foot. I LOVE THAT! And it's always her left foot!

Rocked, You're right, W's A was all about her. That's a hard thing to understand when you're the LBS. If you get that already, so soon after your H's A, you're in good shape. Took me a long time to get that.

I do think she needs to get her hormone levels checked, but I do think it's more the guilt. After her A ended and she got through the worst part of WD, she still slept on the couch for quite a long time. When we'd go out of town, she'd sleep in bed with me even if we had a room with two beds. We even ML a number of times while away from home, only to have her return to the couch when we'd come home. And then around Nov last year she started saying she wanted a new bed. At that time we had a water bed. Had one since we first got together 25 years ago. So I said to her "I'm ok with getting one, but if you're not going to sleep in it, I'm not because I like the water bed". She said, "Of course I'll sleep in it if we get a new one". So we did and she did. Now why did it take us getting a new bed for her to move back into it? Only thing I can come up with is she was with OM in it and it freaked her out. Kind of makes sense with how she'd sleep with me and to this day, is able to be more "free" with herself when we're out of town.

The other thing I think W needs checked is her thyroid. She has a family history of thyroid problems. Not sure if that affects anything, but she does need to get it checked.

Don't worry about the Christmas presents. I'm all over it. She mentioned to me a while ago that if she had a carpet cleaning machine, we wouldn't need to hire a carpet cleaning dude to come in yearly. So I've got one of those. How romantic huh? But there's more. A couple weeks ago we were at a sporting goods store getting S17 some new golf equipment and W was trying on some ski gloves. She was making all kinds of comments about how warm they were etc. So I'm picking those up Tuesday night when I'm out for a haircut. I also got her (for both of us) tickets and a hotel room to see one of our favorite performers. Got a couple other ideas (including the undies), but we'll see.

Addie, The A's that have been all over the news lately HAS affected her. I can see it. I can see how the guilt shows up with it being all over the news. Thanks Tiger.

On another note, it was just a week ago I caught S17 smoking which he started during the "troubles". When I told W he was smoking she asked "when did that start?" I asked her if she remembered when we'd caught him smoking a couple years ago and she kind of looked at me a little puzzled and I said "he started smoking during the troubles because it helped calm him down" and she just dropped her head in what can only be described as shame. So I'm sure that has had an affect. And it's another example for anyone going through this how a person in an A can be so out of their right mind. W has not remembered MANY things from that time.

Like a summer ago we were going to Disney with the kids. We made reservations at our timeshare at Disney. I said to W "I think I'll request the same area of the resort we stayed at before" and W said "we've never stayed at that resort" (Disney does their timeshares so you can stay at any of 7 different resorts on property). I said "yes we did. It was at Thanksgiving two years ago" and she just looked at me like I was crazy. Well, two years ago at Thanksgiving is when I'd just exposed the A to OM's W and my W was a F'd up mess. And she argued with me that we'd never stayed there even though we spent 7 nights at the place only a year before. Man, the mind is an amazing thing.

Thanks guys. You all give me stuff to think about and try. And isn't it amazing that we're the LBS's and WE'RE the ones that have to deal with THEIR issues. When does the time come where our spouses say "man I F'd up, what can I do for YOU?"

Hope you ladies have a GREAT weekend. I picked S21 up from school last night so we have our beautiful son home for a week for Christmas. And that makes me

Talk to ya soon.