here we go again

[Jstar]

ok well, he pulls in for a few minutes and drives away, thankfully m y niece and bf get to my house, then like hr later i get a knock on my door,. its the police.

ma'am we got a strange call from your husband, wanting to check to see if you and daughter are ok to meet us at the school.

cops said it was a weird call. so it spoke with them, told them h moved out abdoneded us nov2, didnot speak to me till few days ago when he threatened to show up announced, only contact during that time has been with boundaries i set.

they asked if they could tell him something from me and i said, back off, he is causing me to much stress in my high risk pregnancy and if he cared for me or the baby that i did not want to go into labor prematurily.

so then h sends me a text msg, thanks jstar i have to find out from cops if my daughter is ok.

after he has left me numerous msgs about how he's gona show up and take daughter, no plan, no where he is taking no when she's coming, so again i am the blame of it all again. i don't really believe it, but way for h to own up to crap.

so now i have put down expectations, and he's testing them, blaming me, so still remain dark?

[Jstar]

i know some of i am not even registering at this time. my mind is going to come at me later tonight.

i'm thinking i need to remain dark,???

[bluerain]

I think that you should stay dark, and tell the police that he is incessantly calling/texting you like this. They are familiar with your story and it will help provide grounds for your order of protection. He is behaving in a way that would make me nervous. And the cops already have heard from him, did you get a card from any of the officers? They are usually on shift for 12 hours, so its likely that the same guys that you saw ealier are still working.

[Jstar]

and now he calls and says:

hey was that you calling me? if it was you calling me call me back or leave a msg?

he's not saying he's gonna file stuff with court, not wanting a divorce, not askinga bout xmas.

[bluerain]

I dont think that you should give in to this pressure to communicate with you.

Can you reschedule the concilliation meeting? Do you think that he would show, if you said that he needed to so that you could settle this visitation business, or meet with a counselor or something?

Maybe you should turn your phone off for the night!

[Jstar]

i don't know how to even deal with this stuff. at this time i'm not going to suggest anything to him.

h has to start building trust with consistent visitation supervised, before i am willing to allow him to take d2 without me. he doesn't even understand the big picture.

in his msgs it's i'm coming to get her and take her, no i'm going here with her, coming back at a certain time.

[Jstar]

am i going to have to spell out specific things for this boy to do? you want to see d2, then you can meet us at park for a short time such date. and then go dark?

should i be like okay, if you want to provide d2 with gifts for xmas, you can come over or meet us somewhere for specific time?

should i just let it be for a few days? be dark and see what move he makes.?

[bluerain]

I think that you are going to have to spell it out. But, I dont think that you should do that right now.

I think that you will need to specify times that you want him to visit, but I do think that you need to let things rest for a few days.

[Jstar]

i agree. looks like i'm going to have to spell it out for in everything that i put in my one and only msg to him over the past few weeks.

i totally agree about not doing anything saturday or even sunday.

[Jstar]

d and i get up this am, actually got to sleep in. look at my phone and another call from h. calling at 130 am.

h says' i have to send cops to your house to find out if d2 is ok, i love her ilove my children, i still have feelings for you, so counseling didn't work, i was still angry with you(we went 1 time)we just can't get along, you hold everything over my head about not having a job your mean, your hurting d2 ur not hurting me well ok you are hurting, please give me a call.

so what do i hear, we tried counseling one freaking appointment? has feelings for me? great loves his children, still hasn't not followed the boundaries i've given.

so now how am i supposed to proceed, same way? dark? how am i supposed to say or not do anything about we tried counseling for one appt?

are we at a point to ask for more counseling? or should it be more calculated in the sense of send him my expectation? as he may try to meet them, he can see my 180's?