how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[newmama]

Avermont, I kind of get the impression that you are holding posters responsible for the advice they volunteer...it's like you are angry with them or something when they don't agree. I could be misreading the intention since it is text only.

he did send ONE email with an article of interest and I sent him TWO-to which I got positive responses [/i][/b]and scoldings from cutterbug and puppy[/b][/i][/u].

(they scolded you probably for coming across as chasing. Is that right?)

I am out and about in town, and puppy says to trust that word will get back to him about how fabulous I am. Don't know about that.

(I read you live in a small town. Puppy is right-
people talk! Eventually your BF will either ask about you or someone who saw you will ask him. Why are you doubting this will happen? Just curious.)

And the previous post where you referenced several posters and the advice they gave...explaining it was conflicting. Why are you naming names?

Okay, now about you going out;

I will be going out of town from after Xmas until after NYE. I was going to let him know that--just because of the tenants possibly having some emergency--but then I decided that I will give the tenants the usual info with both our contact info, the emergency #'s, etc. If they can't reach me, and have to reach him instead, let him find out that way that I have left town for over a week.

I think you should tell him and say "in case the tenants need to know" The reasons why are as follows:
1) you are creating mystery
2) you are showing you "need" his help. You won't be able to take care of the tenants, so could he please help if they need? (I realize it's his job, too, but now he is 'helping' you out, like when your secretary 'helps you out' by rushing that fax. get what I mean????!)

Now as for me, you know my story isn't finished.I am not doing tough love yet but I have obstacles right now that make it tricky. If I didn't have a kid, I would have impulsively filed for D back in March when my WH was jumping for joy at his opportunity to go to OW and I watched as he was filling out paperwork emotionlessly. (We started to complete it in March). SO GLAD I DIDN'T! If I didn't care about WH's involvement w/ our S, I would have gone NC. I did from April-June except for dr. appts and it got easier every day. So now I am trying Bo Peep but my theory is that timing is everything and Bo Peep might work because I'm being consistent, the A is not new, I am GALing and well I can't exactly go NC.