Coming up on One-Year of DB'ing...

[Gnosis]

OK M,

I was going to go through a long post to justify my thinking etc but I left my notes on my desktop computer. I'm sitting in a coffee shop now.

So lets get to it... your H works long hours and is on standby almost 24/7. This is his busiest time of the year. He is under constant pressure and stress. Weather conditions and driving around have worn him out. Dealing with drivers etc means he probably spends a portion of the day cussing at their stupidity and their screw ups.

The only "time-out" he gets is on the weekends and even then he is on edge. He has his responsibility to his kids to live up to and doesn't get as much "down-time" as he wants because he tries to make it to their games.

So... what would a man like that want to do? One thing he has stated is that he wants to participate in the purchases of the kids main Christmas gifts. You should let him do that. Another thing he would like to do is to just CHILL OUT completely and wind down. i.e. sit back on the sofa and vegetate. I know this is not what you want. I don't think this man would want to get dressed up and go to a restaurant for dinner. He eats in those places all day every day of the week. He must be sick of the food. This is supposed to be Quality Time together so I'd get rid of any plans with BFF and others.

ST's idea that you let him lead as to what he wants to do with you is spot-on. My suggestion would be the following:

"H, you've been working like a dog to put food on the table lately. What say you to reaping the benefits of that? How about the two of us just shutdown and chill at home tonight? I can fix us up something simple to eat and we can relax on the sofa and hire an action movie DVD. How does that sound?"

Prepare a simple meal with a good bottle of wine. No candlelight, no romantic atmosphere etc. Just relaxing. No pressure on him. No expectations laid on him. From there you enjoy each other and you let him lead. You can provide subtle hints with your clothing above... and in the comfort and warmth of your own home I think you can skip the covering for that top I mentioned.

With that in mind, here's something you can learn from D18 (corrections added):

ST - So, H loves to be adored. D18 Handfull fawns all over him like he's a freaking legend, the funniest thing that ever lived, etc... You can just see him SOAK it up. I mean, come on, I've heard all of these DUMB jokes 800+ times! And, she just LAUGHS LAUGHS LAUGHS...

So, you know what strokes his ego right? Weeeeeeeeeeell... Your D18 knows something you don't, after all where is she getting all that pocket money from

I hope this helps you M. Let's see what the other MEN have to say about this. Us guys are simple. Make us feel respected, appreciated and like your hero and we'll do back-flips for ya... c'mon girls this ain't rocket science ya know?