BUT, wife may ask me to go to christmas party with her. Do I go, or say no thanks?
If the plans and 180's etc. get too confusing....then just remember to be "unavailable". I bet she would be shocked if you told her, "Thanks, but I have already makde plans." That is being unavailable to her. She needs to stop taking you for granted and think you'll always be there whenever she snaps her fingers.
I know you had rather be with her than at a movie, but you see how she needs to know you aren't acting like her pet eager for her crumbs?
She will ask you what your plans are......but that doesn't mean you have to tell her. You don't have to lie, but if you can just be kind of vague about it, that causes mystery and she will find that very interesting. If you are on the phone with her when she wants to know your plans, you can chuckle and say, "Oh you wouldn't be interested," and hang up....or just laugh and say, "Bye W". If in person, you can smile and wink and don't say anything. That will get her to thinking!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
