As far as my experience goes, things in my marriage are about a thousand times better than I ever thought they could be. Entirely a result of (eventual) non-confrontational, non-blaming bedrock honesty, effort, and compassion on both sides. So I'm heavily biased in favor of non-byzantine solutions.
But you can only work with what you have, I get that. Keep that healthy self-skepticism up, it's a lifesaver.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
