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Originally Posted By: Dudess
I don't want to be anyone's 'second choice'.

Here's to you Dudess! whistle


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4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
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One pair of boots, coming right up!

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Me-42,H-41,M-14
S-12,9


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^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout Willis

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I disagree with Rob. Why should Dudess tell him she wants H home for Christmas? He basically abandoned her, gallavanting off to Europe, implying he no longer wanted her to come over like originally planned, ostensibly following around the object of his obsession. Dudess is the dutiful wife staying home to take care of the house, the dogs, and the financial matters.

If she were to say, "H, it would be nice for you to come home and spend Christmas with me" it just further demonstrates that she will be waiting there for him whenever he decides to come back to real life.

Dudess has been DBing--GAL, moving forward with doing what is best for her. What else is she supposed to do? Emailing/calling H would be pursuing. Up until now his infrequent emails have been only about business so she matched his tone in responses.

How often do we advise people to get a lawyer and make sure they protect themselves legally just to be safe. That's all Dudess is doing, she's not money-grubbing. If her marriage was going great I assume her H wouldn't think twice about paying for her necessary dental work. So why shouldn't she ask for him to pay for it now? They are married and it is a health concern.

Dudess, my first instinct would be to ignore it for now because I would not want to have that conversation via email. However, maybe it's good to explain just that. "H, I understand that you would like to move forward with making plans for the future. I would like to do the same. Because this is so important I prefer to discuss it in person. Wishing you the best this holiday season."


If you love somebody, set them free.
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^^Sorry about that. I was not caught up, didn't refresh before responding. Now that I have read the last couple pages...

This seems to be appropriate.

Not a word. He doesn't really deserve any more of your time or attention.

Come visit me! We've just gotten a few inches of snow today and everything is pretty. Plus I have a big guest room and plenty of time on my hands. wink


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Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
This seems to be appropriate.

Not a word. He doesn't really deserve any more of your time or attention.

Come visit me! We've just gotten a few inches of snow today and everything is pretty. Plus I have a big guest room and plenty of time on my hands. wink


Love it! When Nancy was singing that I was in first grade and I thought it was so cool. I pleaded with my parents until they bought me a pair of white go go boots and got my big sister to style my hair that way too. Good memories.

I'm not sayin a word.

I love fresh snowfall. You are helping motivate me to get my move done so I can go play.


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Dudess, what's going on with you? Hope you have fun Christmas plans!


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I'm feeling good today. Last night I went to the opening of a new music club with my ex-H. Many mutual friends of me & current H were there. The guys I expect are probably in contact with my H, sure enough, were the people who didn't ask about him. They were very friendly to me though. Others seemed confused about what was going on when I told them H had in been in Europe more than 4 months. I just smiled and said, "It's complicated."

The music was great. I danced my butt off and lots of people said I looked great in my "Marilyn-esque" halter dress. Afterwards, I invited a few people to the house for drinks. I had fun, just like in the pre-marriage days. I didn't get to bed til 4:30 a.m. so I am very tired. I'm going to bed as soon as the sun sets and hope that all the Java Monster I drank today to try to stay awake, doesn't keep me up.

As predicted by Gnosis, H sent me a curt business related email a week after his last inquiry which I blew off. I'm not answering this one either. He doesn't say where he is or when he is coming back.


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You go girl!!! (snaps fingers over head)


Me 44 She 46
S13 D9
M18 T23
3 years DB'ing
Successfully busted
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