I know you aren't ready yet. Somehow I reached this crossroads before you. My mantra is that you have to save yourself before you can save your kids. I have saved myself. I am no longer in limbo. I told you that I finally filed and am moving things along. I can tell you it feels good. I can go to my grave knowing I gave it everything. She will be the one living with the guilt of never really trying. Live with the guilt of hurting our sons with her decisions.
Anyway, I got there by her just stepping way past the boundaries I set in my mind. The anger or lack of respect just turned a switch in my head that made me ready. I have told my wife to stop blaming me for her lot in life. I don't control you never have. Told her she needs to look in the mirror now and own this situation that she created. I am done laying down for her...
My whole focus now is about getting ready to be a single dad for the kids. Reading books on how to help my sons cope with the loss. She is not doing as well. I can see she is still a mess inside. She will tell me different however.
Regardless, there will come a point--and that switch will turn in your head. I would be great if it worked out. That was what brought us all here in the first place....
Just remember, once you save yourself, then you can be there 100% for your kids as they get through this process if it comes to that for you...I don't think anyone can really save themselves until they tell their spouse, no more--I'm done.
Good Luck.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
