Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Journaling:

Just struggling along - pretty happy most days, but definitely stuck deep in limbo.

Mrs. T is cycling between distant/distracted and angry/biter. Her mom's decline is consuming her, and for the most part I am either staying away from her or pushing back when she gets too over the top.

Most of the time we are just moving forward, living separate and parallel lives, caring for our kids and getting ready for Christmas.

I admit that I am having challenges simultaneously being supportive and loving to a w who really needs it (although she can neither reciprocate nor be thankful) and maintaining my separation and detachment at the same time.

It's clear to me that what I am doing now - staying stable, supportive, loving, understanding - is not going to cause my w to look into herself or change her mind about the R. She isn't leaving - not walking away - but she isn't committed to or working on the R either. But this is the decision I have made for now.

I am open to any advice any of you might have on how to simultaneously DB and support a spouse who is grieving.

Sooner or later I won't be able to continue, but I'm not there yet. (Close, but not yet)

In the mean time I am overall happy. I am meeting with new IC's to find a new person to work with - feel like the old one wasn't helping much. I met on yesterday who I think would be great.

Hope you are all enjoying the holiday season.

- Thinker