So apparently telling Gabe it was fine if he came over to hang out with Marc while I was out Tuesday set a precedent and now he showed up today without asking me. I'm irked but not mad. I'm so torn about it, you know? I want him to spend time with Marc and if that means that he comes to my house to do it I guess that's what it will be for now. As long as it's when I'm not there so I don't have to feel like a prisoner in my bedroom trying to avoid him I guess it'll just have to be ok.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
That was my fist inclination. I know him though, saying that to him will be akin to me saying 'don't come see Marc.' Boundaries mean nothing to him and if enforcing them hurts Marc then it hurts me.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Marc gave me the scoop on why Gabe showed up yesterday without asking me. He had driven the broom to her son's 'mommy and me' breakfast at his elementary school. Our city is between the city Gabe and the broom live in and the city her son lives in. It was convenient for him to just come hang out here with Marc until he had to go back and pick her up. It wasn't about spending time with Marc really.
Oh well, I was so hoping it was an indication that he was becoming more proactive in making sure he did more with our son. His loss. Marc is a wonderful kid with a big heart.
On another note, he keeps sending me joke texts which are very funny but I'm not responding to him about them at all. I don't want to encourage the behavior by making comments about them so hopefully he'll just stop eventually. It's not a major boundary issue with me, just irritating.
I've decided I'm going to have to quit my second job. I just plugged in the information from my last paychecks from both jobs and tax info into a tax program to mentally prepare myself to get that done in January and found that what I made at the second job has completely screwed my taxes and I'm going to owe the federal and state governments!!!! I have no deductions other than Marc so there is no way to fix this now. I'm going to have to file for a payment plan with the IRS....first time ever in my life I've had this problem. If I adjusted my witholding at the second job enough to cover the difference for next year the amount I would bring home would be so pawltry it wouldn't be worth the time away from home.
Can't win for losing anymore can we?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
What is your mother's taxable income? (If she doesn't work, this probably doesn't include social security and several other things.) I think it would be her TAXABLE amount on her 1040.
If it is low, you may be able to claim her as a dependent. Definitely worth a free call to the IRS.
She doesn't work and doesn't have any taxable income. Because she lives here and I cover her expenses I do claim her as a dependent. Forgot to say that when I posted the above. It's still not enough to keep me from paying.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I swear, if I don't end up locking myself in my house and avoiding everyone it will be a miracle.
I took Marc to a friend's house tonight and it's down the same street that another house used to have an incredible Christmas display. After I dropped Marc I went to see if they had it up again this year (it had been two years since I saw it last). They didn't. Not a big deal, right? WRONG! It was like a ton of bricks fell on my head. Why? I realized it was because the last time I saw it I was in the car with Gabe, it was a week after he had dropped the bomb on me but before I found out about the broom. I remember sitting in the car watching the beautiful light display and crying as quietly as I could so he wouldn't get mad at me. I was heartbroken sitting there because all I could think was how there would never be a happy Christmas again. It would be a sad, lonely time of year from now on even though I have Marc to spend it with. It's just not the same.
Tonight I cried again, but I couldn't figure out exactly why. The more I reflect, the more I think it was just residual sadness and the memories of the past that hit me. How ugly it was. I drove home slowly, trying to calm my nerves. I'm still pretty upset but calming down. Typing this is helping a lot too.
I do have to day that this outlet has been one of the best things that I've ever experienced. It keeps me from losing it in RL. I can hide the sadness and fake my way through without anyone knowing the inner turmoil thanks to this community.
Thanks!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I'm going to have to file for a payment plan with the IRS....first time ever in my life I've had this problem. If I adjusted my witholding at the second job enough to cover the difference for next year the amount I would bring home would be so pawltry it wouldn't be worth the time away from home.