I have had some wierd issues with my H. I believe it is a MLC. For 20 YEARS, we lived a pretty 95% calm, everyday life. At 40, he found a "dear, dear" friend at work (a 35 yr old divorce) then all hell broke loose. It started with 6 weeks of him refusing to talk to me until I change..... I of course was blindsided and could not beleive he would do this.
He said I was "going to change" if I wanted it or not. He antagonised our kid until she would lose her mind with anger, and I was always called in to ref. I started saying "leave me out of it". Because HE would not listen to me, anyway. He was very childish in these arguments then pull out the "I'm the dad, that's why" card.
There were HUGE blowups, and I have still not forgiven him for everything. Most of them 100% stupidity that only caused stress and pain.
Since he has done things like: 1. writing Catholic e cards (God really wants me to forgive, you know- only sinners don't forgive) but I found him looking at "catholic singles dating sites for 30 min after the ecard was sent (he thinks nothing of this because he did not register as a person on the site, but I was crushed)
2. He "secretly" audio recorded me during fights (to prove something to someone?). Promised he would never do this again, then was caught doing it again. Then again. (there is no point to this, I mean legal value). Now I ask for the recorder, he says I can't have it. He says I have nothing to fear, he will never do this again (until I catch him again I guess)
I mean... WHO does things like this? I have known him 25 years, he never did these stunts before.
I am embarrassed to even write about them on other marriage sites. Everyone else says "get rid on him".
I believe he is in MLC. Is this WEIRD behavior normal? TWO IC counselors think he is a horrible spouse and friend, but MOST IC or MC'rs dont buy into MLC, they just want spoust to "straigten up".
He tells stupid lies? Is this normal? WHY? He fights with DD17. She is so mad at him she leaves when he enters room. I don't blame her.
He says he loves me and wants the marriage. But of course everything is MY fault because "I can't forgive and get over it". He is SUPER religious now, and still sanctimoneous (but also an internet porn fan) I DON'T GET IT!
I mean, I wish there was a physical affair or OW -- THAT would make sense. NOTHING he does makes sense for a grown up man.
My last IC (who was supposed to help me get over the PTSD, depression and anxiety attacks) Thinks HE is the reason everything is going on. He does not think much of my H, either, thinks I should dump his childish, selfish a$$.
