i have been following your thread and i cant really go into much right now but you are sabatoging your marriage! Stop it!!! Your husband is doing what you want him to do but you are not HEARING him or SEEING him! Stop it! Matter of fact you need to take a break from this board and focus on your husband before you really need to be on this board. Sorry if i come across harsh. go back and really read your entire stitch...really read it with a open heart and open mind and put yourself in your husband's shoes. he is not perfect but he is trying. it just doesn't seem good enough due to a lot of anger and resentment that you have. let that go...he is trying! i say this out of not wanting your marriage to break up.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
i have been following your thread and i cant really go into much right now but you are sabatoging your marriage! Stop it!!! Your husband is doing what you want him to do but you are not HEARING him or SEEING him! Stop it! Matter of fact you need to take a break from this board and focus on your husband before you really need to be on this board. Sorry if i come across harsh. go back and really read your entire stitch...really read it with a open heart and open mind and put yourself in your husband's shoes. he is not perfect but he is trying. it just doesn't seem good enough due to a lot of anger and resentment that you have. let that go...he is trying! i say this out of not wanting your marriage to break up.
Thanks 4luv. I thought I was the only one who could see this.
Luv, have you and your H done counselling together before? I recommend you go alone, also. Hope this day finds you well.
We have done it 15 yrs ago...wasn't helpful at all. The therapist said I was dealing with a very cold man. H and I agreed it didn't help but he MAY be open to it but I'm not sure.
I agree - I need to talk someone - I've suffered emotional abuse for a long time.
thanks Sol
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
We have done it 15 yrs ago...wasn't helpful at all. The therapist said I was dealing with a very cold man. H and I agreed it didn't help but he MAY be open to it but I'm not sure.
You'll never know if you don't ask. Ask him tonight how he feels about going. And definitely go on your own. Call some people today to find out about more
Maybe I haven't been very clear. My H is NOT trying. I know when he tries and he isn't. He is entitled to his feelings - I do understand this but the way he is treating me is unacceptable.
I've taken what you said to heart - I'm going to work on myself - my H - well he will have to do the same.
thank you all so much
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
(((Luv)))) I'm only gonna say this for now... please listen to G. He is really trying to help you. Your hurt and anger is blinding you to what might actually help your M... and you! Yes, you have every right to your hurt and anger, but acting on them only hurts you and your M. The DB principles feel almost "wrong" sometimes... they go against what we feel entitled to as the "wronged" spouse. But, they are WHAT WORKS! If there is a chance of saving your M you have to do what WORKS, not what feels fair or right. Make sense? I can't remember... have your read DB or DR?
