Positive developments? #2

[dday101798]

hmmm, that was a "brief" re-cap? lol, just kidding.

That brings us up to speed a bit, BUT, why did she move back the second time when things seemed to be going so well? Did you backslide into those habits again? That's a key event you'll have to elaborate more on.

Here's what I get so far, and I'll be blunt about it. Obviously since day one, FIL thinks you're a slug, no question about it. Other than continued education, what have you done to prove him wrong otherwise? Have you had a one on one confrontation ever about this? Or did he do all the talking and you just took it? Something tells me that's how it went down. I get the sense by your posts, you are the qiet non-confronting type?

I am for the most part as well. I will say, my (ex)FIL and I at day one too did not get along, at all. At the time I met my (x)W, she was M'd to her high school boyfriend wh was in jail pending trial for the attempted murder of S12 at a mere 8 weeks old. Me, I was a long haired, minimum wage bar-hopper.

So, fatherly love on (ex)FIL said that I was a undermining threat and (x)W's train of thought should be solely on S12. Little did he know, the very next day after I met (x)W, I was there at S12's bedside in the hospital after hearing her story of what happened. For the duration of my teen years into early 20's I was told I couldn't have kids of my own, so this was a compelling issue, plus I was just so drawn to her by just merely saying "hi, hows it going?" while standing in a line and she captivated me from there on.

Anyway, for quite a bit, a tension mounted between (ex)FIL and I as the relationship with (x)W began to flurish. Ironically, we spent more time tending to S12 than actually dating each other. (ex)FIL versus confronting me, became further and further abusive, verbally and physically to (x)W until I could take it no more and we locked horns, big time. It took brass on my end as I was much like I am now, 140 lbs wet, and he a good 250+, but none the less, that confrontation brought a halt and understanding that I was here to stay. Not only in helping S12 recover, but supporting (x)W in anyway I could, if I had a dollar and she needed fifty cents, I always found a way to get her five dollars.

In the months that followed our confrontation that calmed things, (ex)FIL finally saw the light, along with some fantastic observation of how S12 had latched to me by MIL (RIP Mom), and S12's first word he could utter when he was diagnosed to never be able to speak properly - "dada".

Needless to say, when I popped the question to (ex)FIL to marry his recently D'd daughter within weeks after finding out that (x)W and I were expecting, surprise, our S11, I got the same shapeal about needing a good job and all that jazz, and I told him, I will do what it takes, and I did.

Sorry I got a bit winded in this, but just to show, I understand where you're coming from on the family insight being unsupportive of your efforts. But I do think you need to take a stand, FIL is very detrimental to your M.

So since you relate to that spark when every time you see your W, make it your drive. Prove her and her F wrong, that you can be that person they think you're incapable of, but also be that person in your own right, not their way.

That's a whole nother thing as why my (x)W is back. I went from a high school drop out no-body with nothing, sharing an apartment, to having a successful, stable career, we had our dream home, and I did it all for my family. Then it was all taken away, and in the post D, (x)W saw that even tho I am of limited means, I still do everything in my power to care and comfort our kids. And once again, if they need fifty cents and I have a dollar, they will have five dollars at the end of the day.