NC - W vanished ...

[P17]

Previous thread was locked for some reason ... anyway, here is my reply!

Sorry but I don't understand...did you expect that she was going to talk to you during your NC?Or that she would have "woken up" by now?

I'm not actually sure what I expected to be honest - I hadn't expected her to wake up though or end the A - as I said I think that will be in place for a long time. I didn't expect she would go to all out to remove every trace of her from her life.

Looking at it, and what I say about these things being a power game, I feel my power is slipping and I feel the M, the R and W are all slipping away.

Yes she is in the fog of the affair, that is for sure!

I know I am being thick, but I just don't see it. I don't even think she sees this as an A to be honest. She left and started a new relationship. I think that's how she sees it.

I imagine that people haven't said that because, at least for me, I thought it was obvious that she is in a daze!

Probably. It was, and still is a bad day(s). I don't see the daze though.

And I wanted to add that although you don't think she has seen your improvements, she has because you told us you used to cave in and be all talk and little follow through (rewording but I think that's the gist!). Well you have been NC for a solid month. You made her go to IM in another town to get her Christmas stuff! (bravo!) so some of your actions are definitely shining through to her.

I'll bet she sees that as me being stubborn, childish and awkward though rather than strong, determined and following through.

The only thing I think she is showing is a huff because of D's car seat. The car seat isn't important, but the sitch with it is. She ignored IM twice requesting it (by text and through OM) which is kind of out of character as, you know, it's a kids car seat. It's important. Apparently it is still in her car. That shows me she is in a huff. Not sure why, but she is. She is most likely ticking two fingers up and saying 'if wants to play games so will I'.

On top of that, it sounds like information gets to her from people at the shop, right? Or facebook or your MIL. So your GAL is getting to her.

Sort of I suppose.

**I wanted to add that when you do see your MIL, be sure to be charming and happy and looking good because it will definitely get back to W!

Oh, that I will That will be an interesting game (which is what I see it as) ... I imagine it will be a like Sonic The Hedgehog (you know the game where the hedgehog runs around and collects the gold coins (if you don't this will be lost on you) but I will hear the little coin collecting noise each time I DB MIL Makes me smile anyway.

MIL has left two voicemails for me this morning. Haven't listened to them yet.

If you want to move on and file for D, set a date and then see if you still feel like it when the date arrives. I actually had a quick fantasy that all of us on here would make a pact to file for D by choosing the same date and say good riddance! (BUt then I remembered that I don't want to go from man to man looking for WH in all of them)

I have a sort of deadline in my head of April next year - that will be 8 months since OM moved in and also it's my wedding anniversary during that month. Would it be good for her to get her papers served to her on our anniversary ...