SD - I just wanted to check in real quick as I am still busy at work. Please look into getting your boys into therapy as soon as you can..it will be extremely important for them as the three of you navigate through this.
Also, don't worry about making decisions about your M at this very minute. You just got hit with all this. Focus on the important things now, your boys, you and protecting yourself. There will be plenty of time later on to sort through all of that when you have had time to detach, heal and become the new and improved SD. And let's face it, your W has many issues to sort through herself right now. I'm no expert, but I really think you need to let that process happen.
Oh and do go out. And have fun. I turned the corner when I got my self esteem back. It will happen for you also. And you will have a great life. Either your W will ask to be a part of it or she won't. Either way you'll be fine.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
Last edited by mulesqb; 12/18/0912:43 AM.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
mules, Thanks. You are spot on. Really, I am in no position to make any decisions right now anyway, so that will wait. My boys are the important thig right now, and for the next week.
I am off to watch the game, and hopefully get my mind off of things.
Ya, she has issues, that I can't even think of right now. I have to let her find her way, and let her go. DETACH.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Enjoy the game. I know it's hard to get your mind off of things... But, just being out in a different environment, w/a buddy that knows/understands where you "are" right now is good.
How exciting to get your boys tomorrow!!! Make it awesome. They will need to carry your normalcy and love for the next few months after you leave. Make sure they have enough!!!
My heart aches for you. I could slap the crap out of your wife, and I've never hit anyone in my life!
You ARE going to find true love of yourself and someone...
We're right here w/you.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I'm sorry your wife's behavior has been so vile, but I'm glad she's giving your L plenty of ammo.
I'm glad your buddy insisted on you going out tonight. That's exactly the kind of think I recommend enjoying more often. Good friends and good family are a true salvation in this situation!
Age: 28 Wife's Age: 28 Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off) Married: Less than one year Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
Well, had a pretty good time last night. My friend just went through a D, so he and I talked about that, as well as my sitch. I got alot out, and feel pretty good this morning.
I still am struggling with the images, and texts she sent me, but I am thankful that she hasn't sent anything else.
No contact from W, nor me to her.
I can't get the idea of her flying to see this guy, and just going to have sex, and whatever else. Because I know she is going to do it-I know she is.
I have much to do today-laundry, get truck serviced, new inspection sticker, etc.
Just gotta keep plugging away.
Bonus-I get my boys tonight!!!! Woooo Hoooooo!!!!
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Puppy, my buddy is a die hard Colts fan!!!! Myself-die hard, bleed purple Minnesota Viking fan.
SKOL VIKINGS!!!!
Having been born in Minnesota, I grew up a Vikings fan, and still remember the sting of all FOUR Super Bowl defeats, as well as the Drew Pearson push-off as the hated Cowboys beat us in the playoffs. Ugggh!!!
Puppy, I live and die Viking football. This year has been alot like the 98 season, but I think this team is BETTER. we'll see what happens in the playoffs though.
Puppy, I am really struggling letting go of what my W is doing, and the things she is doing-I am trying believe me, but again, all I see in my mind is another man doing things to my wife that I should be doing.
I know she is struggling too, but I just can't shake these thoughts and images-especially since she sent me a pic of her with the guy, telling me she was flying to see him. I just can't get it out of my head.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I still am struggling with the images, and texts she sent me, but I am thankful that she hasn't sent anything else.
SD, let it go. Replaying it in your mind won't help. I'm not for sure here, but I think it might be best if you told her you won't tolerate those type of texts and if she continues to do so, you will no longer read and respond. Wait for better opinions on that, though.
Originally Posted By: SoldierDad
I can't get the idea of her flying to see this guy, and just going to have sex, and whatever else. Because I know she is going to do it-I know she is.
Maybe she will. That is totally out of your control. Don't waste a minute worrying about it.
You've been doing a good job in a reallllly bad situation. Keep taking the high road. Part of you will never be the same and part of you will change forever, but remember, sometimes these things happen to us to make our lives better.
