First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Ya know ladies, I get that. I'm constantly complimenting her, flirting with her, etc. But like she's said to me, it's hard for her to hear it and believe it when she doesn't feel sexy.

And she's damn hot. 49 yrs old, two kids and I find her more attractive than I did when we married. People are always stunned when she tells them she's 49. She looks more like mid 30's.

And here's what makes it all so confusing for me. A couple weeks ago W was telling me about a friend of hers at work. This friend is close to becoming a WAW because her H is off the deep end. Constantly rips on her, treats her like chit, etc. The other day, this friend was getting ready for work and was standing there primping in just a pair of undies, no bra. Now this friend has....how should I say it? A nice rack. She is an attractive woman and her H came up and started laughing at her because she was primping while partly naked. And it really hurt her. So my W tells this friend that if she did that that I would be all over her.

So my W knows I find her attractive, but she still struggles with feeling sexy. And the only thing I can think is the problem is the guilt.

I really don't pressure her and I'm constantly trying to think of ways to show her how sexy I think she is without pressuring her, but she still struggles.

And Rocked, since you said you haven't read my whole thread, we are intimate probably once a week. I would like it more and I think she would too if she'd let her self go. But there's something holding her back. I think because she's still got something going on in her head that she can't "feel sexy" because she's still punishing herself? I don't know. Some deep seated stuff going on there.

And one other thing I mentioned a long time ago that I'm sure affects her without her knowing is when she was in college, she was pretty much raped by 5 guys one night. One was her "BF" at the time and he set it up so him and his buddies pretty much all had their way with her. She didn't want to, but there was so much pressure that she told me she didn't feel like she had a choice so she went along. And I wonder if that's part of where the "pressure" comments come from, like if it's not totally her idea, then she feels pressured and can't handle it.

And there's other stuff as well. Her mom and dad D'd when she was 5 months and her mom married step dad who was a totall azz so mom wasn't the best example for a healthy marriage and I'm sure some of the things mom told W have put crimps on our being as close as we could be.

Oh well, that's never going to get solved unless she see's an IC and I don't see that happening as until W figures out on her own that she needs to talk to someone, it'll never happen.

Ok, done with the psycho babble for the day. Thanks for the suggestions.