here we go again

[Jstar]

last time i responded to him it was when he threatened to show up unnanounced, now he is telling me exactly when he is coming over in which i clearly stated if he shows up i will be forced to protect myself. great job man child testing my boundaries.

so i'm gonna go on with my day as usual. come home with d2, start my vacation, and if there is a knock on the door by him, i will not answer, i will call the police and explain,:

my estranged h at the door, i do not want him here, old order of protecting ran out in oct. i am 7 and a half months pregnant with a 2 year old and i am scared he will harm me.

they can come and escort him off the property to which he has no claim. he can spew his daughter is inside, wants to know if he is alright or wants to see her, and i will voice my concerns of safety to the police if they ask i will say i fear he will take my daughter and not return her, if he wants visitation he can submit a propesed plan for supervised visitation,blah blah blah.

i do not want to be afraid in my own home, it is not in the best interest for my d2 to see her father when it suits him, without a schedule, routine and consistency. with no custody arrangement, he can go to court.

[Jstar]

since i'm on vacation starting today at 3pm, on monday i will go between all my doctor appts and get a restraining order.

he will have 10 days to contest the order in which it will be past xmas and screw him then he missed out. that is if even goes into court to contest the order.

he didn't show up for concilliation at court...

[Jstar]

funny how now i think of a situation:

my h is like one of the dinosaurs from jurassic park. one of the characters makes comment, like oh these dinosaurs are so intelligent, they know when the gates are elcectrified, they test them. i just can't remember which type of dinosaur it was that would go and touch the fence.

Anybody?

it would be a great way for me to smile when my h is spewing crap, i would just say, oh he's being a trex, testing the gates.

[bluerain]

It was the velocoraptors I think. I remember thinking that they were little bastards for doing that, Im not sure why, but animals that are kind of little jerks always have a special place in my heart. I dont know if you knew this, but Orcas- I love, love, love Orcas, and not for the reasons that you might think. Anyway, Orcas are just about the meanest marine mammal around. They physically punish their young, they will kill another whale, just seemingly for fun- or to train their young. But all they will eat is the tongue. They play with their prey this summer, I saw a pic of one that had tossed an otter about 30 ft into the air. They dont eat them, they just mess with them until they die and arent fun anymore. Most people would never think about them this way. Anyway, I digress... But now you know some new things about killer whales...

I do think that alot of what hes doing is testing you. Let him. If and when he does show up uninvited, it can be added to the list along with missing the conciliation appt. Could you go visit your D18 for a few days? Keep your cell phone charged and on you at all times.

I hate to think that you arent sleeping- you really need that right now! Do you think that maybe if you were able to get out of the house and maybe take D2 to a park or just something to burn off a little energy you could rest more easily? I used to do really tough hikes to exhaust myself, but thats not exactly applicable to you. It would help me though to do something that would tucker me out until I couldnt obssess over him and what/who he was doing anymore. Go to the pool! hehe, sorry, I think thats the 15th time Ive told you that.

[Jstar]

yes it is another reminder about pool, i have one in back yard but empty and not heated. in jan i m thinking of enrolling somethng for d2 and i to do on saturdays, like a little soccer camp for her.

ah okay so now when i get really angry i will think the velocoraptors and if he and i get in the same place later down the line and he's making me mad put nicely, pissing me off, i can just call him a velacaraptor and he will have no clue and then i can laugh and let go of the angery.

i loved to hike as well, even in our 120 temps here, the hotter the better and i used to take my dogs, they were great. it's going to take some manuevering to do it with 2 little kids. i will buy a bigger jogger after i'm recovered to job with both kidos around the neighborhood again. we make stops at part have fun and job home. did that with d18 and d2 so now we are going to add it to all of them.

i thought about going out of town, little to expensive.

i had a thought coming back from my classroom, send him a msg oh okay lets just meet at the park and not show. but probably wayyy to much game playing on my part, boy i think i can really be vindictive, should i even mention calling ins on his mommy and irs for tax evasion oh and police for drugs in mommies house, the employer that has been cutting him checks, nice sanctiond fined they can get,..just like me moving to the outskirts of my county or out of state.

i shouldn't be thinking that way, i should be dbing, remaining dark, letting go, i'd even go on a date.....hahaha.

[bluerain]

Eh, its nice to fantasize about those things. Even if theres no chance that it will actually happen.

I fantasize about leaving my house which is in H's name, the heat which he never got fixed, and I cant afford to, would fail, the pipes would freeze and tens of thousands of dollars of damage would be done to the house. He would have to drop everything and travel across the country to deal with a hugely damaged house. I have no intention of doing so, as this will be my house when the D is over, but the though of doing it makes me smile.

So, I think that its fine that you have those little thoughts, but dont do anything that you cant be proud of, or honest about.

[Jstar]

okay, every 15 mins h is calling. threatneing to show up and take daughter. jstar i want to give you money and take jstar. what the heck? let me buy off time with daughter, but forget to be there on a regular basis. how can he think this is good for her, me or baby i'm carry? obviously not.

called non emergency police, daughter lives with me, they won't give her to him,

jstar call me back or i'm gonna show up. well what did h learn. from him threatening to show up unannounced before, now he thinks that is going to be what it takes to get me to answer him.

how can you think you can pick up a 2 year old after 7 pm? take her for a little bit, he hasn't not said where he's taking, he probably thinks oh well if i give her money i can keep her for the weekend, he doesn't even discuss it, nothing like that.

i'm sorry legitimate fathers would say hey, can i see child every weekend from 9-12 or something like that. not i'm gonna show up and just take her.

arggggggggggggggg.

i have niece and her bf coming over so we can change the locks since now i'm on vacation and won't cost any money. one less thing he can do to us.

[Jstar]

am i responding to any of his calls NO NONONONONONON.

he is a major tester at this point, hope he doesn't get electricuted velacaraptor.

[Jstar]

8pm pulls in my driveway

[TrentC]

8pm pulls in my driveway

I hope you are being safe. I would call the police if he gets agitated in any way.