Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

It's not easy to live with the fact that I was angry, abusive, and resentful towards those that I cared about the most. It causes me pain daily.

After all this time, I see that continuing to feel this pain and being genuinely remorseful doesn't do me any good at all. And it doesn't do the situation any good at all either.

I want to fix things, and I can't. I can only fix me, and if those that I cared about never do see or believe that I've done that, then I can't do anything about that. I have no control over it.

I have to do what I think is right, and let others think what they will.

My kids are emotional wrecks, and having them over is getting harder and harder. They are out of control. And I'm dealing with a woman who is openly hostile and full of hatred and vindictiveness towards me. And she uses our kids as weapons against me.

I'm just venting and journaling, but things are a pure b!tch right now.