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rob668 Offline OP
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At home Stewing now...may go to supermarket or walmart just to get out. Wife and i just got the tree!!! bittersweet though. I'm really restraining myself from R talk. Proud of me, because just a week ago i'd be starting a "can we talk" talk. I now know better.


male 48 w 40 married 10 years son 19
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Hi Rob

Been following your sitch and it is so similar to mine. Sorry you are here but you are getting really good advice. Listen to Sandi, her advice is spot on. Get out of the house, even if it is just Wallyworld, doesn't matter, just get out. For me, it is barnes & noble. Funny thing is, the other day, I told W that I was going to B&N and she got upset and said "why are you going to B&N". Perhaps it has created a bit of mystery and I feel better all at the same time!

You are doing well, keep your strength up and don't let your emotions run wild. I have grown so much through this process but I spent the last week in a major emotional backslide and believe me, it serves no good purpose. Keep that PMA strapped on tight and keep moving forward towards a better you!


Me:41
W: 35
Married: 6
Together: 15
Bomb: 08/09
Currently: Investing in me!

"You can't do anything about anything you can't do anything about" - Larry King
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
I know it's not easy, Rob. But one of the reasons I am being so hard on you is trying to toughen you up some. Don't tell anyone I told you this.....but some of the toughest talking men on this board sounded just like you when they first arrived. So, you'll make it.

As for staying out late at night......you know how early you have to get up and get to work the next day and you don't want to endanger that. You do what you can......and what you enjoy, but if you aren't able to stay out long, then do whatever. The point is to force a little bit on yourself so that you will not stay there and stew in your own misery. This time of year can be a very depressing time for a lot of people. Having M problems is awful at Christmastime.

Men have said the same things you are saying and then when they finally backed their ears and went out a few times, they discovered it wasn't too bad and they felt so much better. That's what we want to help you with.....not just how to work at the MR, but to feel better about yourself. You may not think that when a 2x4 comes flying by your head....but the heart is in the right place. smile


Sandi how could you divulge our secrets?

That's it, no more late night encounters with you - you are officially cut off, I know it will be hard but I think you'll manage eventually ;-)

(troublemaker!)

Rob, as for staying out late, I think you're an adult who can handle at least one night a week - seriously we're not asking the world of you. Step out of your comfort zone a little bit (or actually ALOT), do something different, it's called a 180, you won't appear different if you're still doing the same thing.

Do you remember reading that post I placed on your thread about getting all fancied up to appear as if you were going on a date? Seriously how much effort would that have required from you? You can't do that at least once a week? You are making excuses and then you're going to sit on this board forever whining about how things aren't working.

Just do it!

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Originally Posted By: rob668
At home Stewing now...may go to supermarket or walmart just to get out. Wife and i just got the tree!!! bittersweet though. I'm really restraining myself from R talk. Proud of me, because just a week ago i'd be starting a "can we talk" talk. I now know better.


instead of "can we talk" which sounds so approval seeking, as in "will you allow me the privilege of talking to someone as great as you because a sniveling little twerp of a man like myself doesn't deserve such an incredible honor...."

If she's having an affair, I would be saying...
"WE NEED TO TALK NOW!"

... and then give her the boot, ADIOS MUCHACHOS!

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rob668 Offline OP
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appreciate your support


male 48 w 40 married 10 years son 19
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rob668 Offline OP
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yes , i can and will do it weekly or twice a week. you'll see and hear from me i promise you and i promise MYSELF!


male 48 w 40 married 10 years son 19
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Quote:
Sandi how could you divulge our secrets?

That's it, no more late night encounters with you - you are officially cut off, I know it will be hard but I think you'll manage eventually ;-)

(troublemaker!)


I didn't give names........ grin


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted By: robx
Originally Posted By: rob668
At home Stewing now...may go to supermarket or walmart just to get out. Wife and i just got the tree!!! bittersweet though. I'm really restraining myself from R talk. Proud of me, because just a week ago i'd be starting a "can we talk" talk. I now know better.


If she's having an affair, I would be saying...
"WE NEED TO TALK NOW!"

... and then give her the boot, ADIOS MUCHACHOS!


ME TOO!

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rob668 Offline OP
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hi, just checking in. Thinking about a small step to do with myself this evening. Maybe a movie?? BUT, wife may ask me to go to christmas party with her. Do I go, or say no thanks? I get confused about doing a plan A or 180 and end up somewhere in between. This is not the place to be , I know.


male 48 w 40 married 10 years son 19
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doing something without her is Plan A (right?) and it's ALSO a 180 for you (Right??)

Go to the Movie.

If your wife asks you to the party, then tell her you already have plans.


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
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