Sorry, guys, haven`t posted here in a while but honestly, even though I`ve clung very hard to the notion that I could save the marriage I am conceding defeat on that one.
The big difference DBing has made for me though is that I`m happy to concede defeat.
I know I tried my utmost to save it.
I know I saved me in the process and I am happy with the me that I have become in all of this.
I also believe, going forward, that we will all be okay.
I suspect the separation will run through a very difficult patch too but I`m hoping my DBing skills will help there too.
Its like the last days in Berlin after the war here. There`s the eerie silence, the lack of energy, the conceding to the inevitable on my part. Maybe, maybe slight confusion on H`s side but he`s made it very plain that he`s done so I`m taking him at his word.
And I`m actually ok about it. I will enjoy Christmas. I`m not sad or despairing. I have a lot of fun and friendship in my life and I know that, after my health and my children, they are the most important things to have.
So its ok. I feel released from prison actually.OK its probably just a temporary release but hey, after two years of crap, its great to breathe again.
