just read your stitch. Thx for you encouraging words and insight on my own stitch. I find your compassion and changes that you have made on yourself very inspiring for my situation with my husband. I am glad that you also stopped beating yourself up because like others have told you, you are not responsible for your wife having an affair. My husband has treated very poorly, been emotionally abusive but there are other choices I will make rather than seeking comfort from another man and disrespecting the vows that I have made.
I haven't gone dark yet but I am leaving for the holidays on Sunday and I don't know when I will return. I am preparing to stay away as long as I need to in order to completely detach from hubby and his ways or until i see some self improvement with hubby.
one thing i wanted to comment on your stitch (and this is advice to myself as well) is to stay dark. When I've had success in the past, it was when I stopped pursuing. Be nice to your wife but not too nice. I know that sounds contradicting but every woman I know (including me) likes a nice guy but hates the guy that is too nice. I never liked men that never challenged me or that I could walk all over. I am looking to the men on this board as to how to read my husband and all the men are giving you great advice but also use the women that have commented to you to really work on yourself and your marriage. Don't be a doormat.
don't worry, i am telling myself all of this also but I know that men also don't like a woman that comes off too strong so I am trying to find the balance in my stitch.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
