EVERYTHING I am doing in my own sitch is being documented and when the time comes I'll be able to support my actions for the innocent interactions that they are going to be. Its a major exercise in gas-lighting with good intentions..
I think you really need to think hard about this. There is no such thing as 'gaslighting with good intentions'. Creating a little mystery and Otherness is a positive thing, but deliberately crafting and enacting a complex strategy to mislead a partner about your actions and intentions is nothing less than betrayal.
While I was still in the house, and MsR2C was not looking or talking to me, I was going to the gym in the evenings after the kids were in bed. Of course I was showering, and dressing really nice before I left. I remember only one reaction: Her screaming "I don't care what you are doing!". Hindsight maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she was full steam ahead for D and I was still letting fear control me.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
