Poe's idea is a great one. Ask you ex H to go with you when OM is not there. Or take d or someone H trusts.....hate to say it but you know H doesn't trust you right now. You have to earn that back. Actions speak louder than words.
As for H admitting things were his fault...oh, I so understand what you are feeling...but GET OVER IT! You want H back. You want new R with H. YOU have to work for it and it's not going to be fun at times, nor easy. You are going to have to choose being happy with H over being right. Forget trying to add up who did what....start being someone h wants to be around and spend time with again. Be positive, be loving, be honest, be open, be attractive! And, oh yeah, be prepared to eat a lot of sh*t...lol..in some ways. I validated my butt off even on days that I didn't feel like it. I told him that I heard his emotions, apologized for my actions and provided him with a verbal positive intention on my behalf....ie.... in my sitch, I was drinking and spending money all the time when he was out of town...so, my validating had to ignore my feelings of loneliness, my feelings of his distancing himself from me and spending time with others rather than me and focus on WHAT I HAD DONE WRONG.... so, I said things like this when he was angry..
I know you are angry with me. I am sorry that I have hurt and angered you. I know my drinking and spending money have caused you a lot of pain. I am working hard now to stay sober and I plan to stay sober one day at a time. I love you and want this marriage to work more than anything.
I said that and things like that over and over and over....and some days...it sucked...it hurt...it seemed unfair...it frustrated me...but guess what? It worked....he heard me and he responded slowly but surely...and things are much better between us now. Not perfect...but progressing.......
Focus on you. Focus on your part in things and how you can repair the damage you have done...the better you get, the more sincere you are...the better your chances of successfully winning back your H. And he will grow and change as you do...all on his own.
