here we go again

[soleil]

I think it's pretty crystal clear, Jstar.

Sorry you're going through this. That threatening stuff on his end is not cool.

[P17]

Always appreciate all the comments you guys provide. It helps me to sort out all this stuff.

Jstar, I'm with Trent on this. How many times does he have to be told? 2, 5, 10? Once should be enough. End of story. Anything else is pursuing and giving in to his game plan.

[Jstar]

i can tell he paid no intention to what i sent him. he goes and sends another msg to me asking if he can this that or another thing, then calls about an hour or two later, thankfully he did not leave a msg.

he's testing me to see how serious i am. obviously he thinks he just walk over me and what i put out there. funny how he can take me saying i will protect my children if i show up, but doesn't get the other stuff. maybe he does and he thinks that's what he's doing, but i know he's not. just the fact that he is doing nothing is not respecting me.

granted he's such a mamma's boy but come on, he's gota figure it out with out me telling him point by point what to do.

im just not answering him and he doesn't get his act together xmas is gonna pass him buy, who are we kidding he's not going to do anything in a matter of a week.

[P17]

Jstar, I'll refer to my own sitch as examples are best. I'm not hijacking.

i can tell he paid no intention to what i sent him. he goes and sends another msg to me asking if he can this that or another thing, then calls about an hour or two later, thankfully he did not leave a msg.

Total script Jstar. He is testing you.

Think of your H as a child okay? If you set a boundary for your child, whatever it is, what do they do? They test it ... they child needs to know how far that boundary can be bent.

Human nature. You set a boundary about something that somebody doesn't like and they see how much bend there is in the boundary.

Laugh, you know what he's doing. He doesn't. He is reacting out of emotion.

he's testing me to see how serious i am.

BINGO!

obviously he thinks he just walk over me and what i put out there.

He does. Do you know why he thinks this? You have done it every other time (if you're like me).

He has a plan, okay? You are no longer following it ... ahh, is there anybody there, 1, 2, 3 ... something has gone wrong, ground control to major tom ... etc. etc. etc.

funny how he can take me saying i will protect my children if i show up, but doesn't get the other stuff. maybe he does and he thinks that's what he's doing, but i know he's not. just the fact that he is doing nothing is not respecting me.

He doesn't respect you at all. He doesn't believe you at all. That's actually nothing to do with you He's looking at your past behaviour, your expected behaviour and his plan ... but wait a sec, who are you, you don't fit into any of those pigeon holes! That's a 180 ... pat yourself on the back!

granted he's such a mamma's boy but come on, he's gota figure it out with out me telling him point by point what to do.

Don't want to disappoint but no, he wont.

Here is something from my sitch to explain.

Sent W an NC letter - it basically says no contact until she wants to discuss M and not while she has OM. 5 days letter she comes to my house expecting to see her step-D. She says she 'didn;t undertstand the NC letter'. Now the NC letter was cleared on here, was basic as it could be. She was testing ... I passed. She left saying, and I quote 'see you later'. She didn't think I'd keep it up. 1 month later, I still have not contacted her directly.

As PDT says ... you can't teach an adulterer ... if he doesn't get it now, guess what, he never will.

im just not answering him and he doesn't get his act together xmas is gonna pass him buy, who are we kidding he's not going to do anything in a matter of a week.

YEAH!!! GO JSTAR ....

[Jstar]

i'm so glad P17 you commented because he called a couple more times and finally left a msg. you w left her d whoah. how are you doing visitations or not with children? did she set something up or did you tell her what her visitation could be?

this time is i hate you you hate me, way things ended, this conversations is being recorded, i'm coming over tomorrow to give you money and take daughter with me, please give me a call or text me how she is doing, i used to tell you how she was.

i was about to just write back obviously you don't get it. do you actually think you are respecting me? you have went and threatened me yet again and you crossed that boundary. i got so upset that i almost threw up, not good for me being pregnant. I did not write back but i can tell you this me and baby do not need this stress, it's not good, and it could cause harm or premature labor which i'm not supposed to get in.

i feel like i should send to the effect of: you are causing dangerous stress on me and the baby. when you call and leave threatneing msg i have contractions. if you care anything about this baby, back off. if you continue i will be foreced to get a NC order of protection.

[Jstar]

you mention h has a plan, what is it?

[bluerain]

Have you reinstated the old order of protection? I really think that you should.

[P17]

i'm so glad P17 you commented because he called a couple more times and finally left a msg. you w left her d whoah. how are you doing visitations or not with children? did she set something up or did you tell her what her visitation could be?

Of couyrse he called .. that's called .. errr ... script. And guess what, he will call again ... and again ... and again. Ignore him.

My W is actually D's step-mum so she has no 'rights' to see D. However as a dad who fought for 7 years to see his D, that doen't actually mean jack sh*t to me. There is a lot more to being a parent than havign a pair of genitals and being in the right place at the right time, if you see what I mean.

Anyway, I always considered my W as my D's mum (so she had two mums). Unfortunately when W left, while she kept up contact via me with D, she NEVER EVER asked ONCE bout D and how she was doing. I am, still to this day, baffled by this. My W always wanted children and appreciated how good a dad I was (as we fought for 7 years) but this just throws me. I would put it down to FOG if it wasn't so definite (she has removed all pics of me and D from FB and Bebo).

this time is i hate you you hate me, way things ended, this conversations is being recorded, i'm coming over tomorrow to give you money and take daughter with me, please give me a call or text me how she is doing, i used to tell you how she was.

CIT .. power gamre. How do you know P? Cause I did it ... it's a power game. Set boundaries, reasonable boundaries (it's tempting to set boundaries to p*s off H but that's not the point). BUT boundaries have consequences.

i was about to just write back <SNIP>

Have you actually set the boundary? Yes? Then why are you writing this cr*p for? You've set it. She broke it. Consequence engaged .. everybody put pon their big pants because Jstar is going to enforce what was said .. yeah? End of story ...

i feel like i should send to the effect of:<SNIP>

2x4 .. Jstar, when will you get it?

You've told her, yeah? Then why do you keep telling her? You're done ....

[Jstar]

I was trying to ignore the whole court thing, i am scared in the sense he's gonna spew crap about how i don't let him see d2. but as upset as i was i made a tentative plan to go immediately after work, go get it, have him show up and served.

yes thank you for teh 2 x 4.

i've also thought about just not being home.

this is where i am trying not to revert back to old self and just go off in text msgs to him.

i even thought about just responding with we have plans and are going out of town, i'll let you know when we are back in town.

[Jstar]

oh yes so of course i have let this bother me to the point of where i'm up an hour and half before i'm supposed to. so great job jstar and h, messed up my sleep.