Today was...ok. Nothing to write home about, but nothing bad either. H came over for dinner. I dropped his present and card off where he is living so he could think about it without me around. He never said anything about what I wrote. I wrote about what I want to be as a wife. Nothing about being sorry, judging him, or about what I want him to do. Everything was about me and what I want to be. Like I said nothing tonight to write home about. Just a normal night.
The one thing that has me urked is he wrote me a letter as well. I am not sure if it was something because of what I wrote or not, but everything was about what he needs from a marriage and how he hasn't had it. He generally apologized for "making wrong decisions", but no promises and more subtle blaming. No love there. He once again said a lot about being my husband. I just was looking for him to at least promise he would stop what he is doing, maybe fess up. I was looking for something sincere and not generalized and telling me what to do. I wanted him to say what he is going to do to make things better.
Overall, like I said nothing bad and not upset. Did some crying as I think about what this day was 4 years ago, but otherwise I have kept it together. Just thinking.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Aww, sorry to hear about the card, but glad to hear that nothing majorly bad happened. Sometimes it seems like in our situations, if it's doesn't turn out horrible then it's acutally pretty good. Sad but true. Still nice that you were able to spend that time together but it's unfortunate that he didn't use that as a opportunity to be more open with you as well. I think men especially have trouble admitting their faults, so it's easier just to find your faults and blame you. =/ So any updates on Saturday? Are you just meeting him somewhere for the surprise?
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
So far still no information about tomorrow. He kept saying my present is coming this weekend so we will see what that is. I said I dont want anything but him wrapped up in a bow. He did say at the end of the note how thankful he is that I have hung in there and not given up on him when it would have been easier to do so. It was some good. We will see what happens this weekend and next week (possible vacation). He also has to talk to my brother about going to his house for the family Christmas. I think he should ask to go instead of me asking because my brother and him still have the beef not me and my brother.
A lot still up in the air, but we will see where everything lands soon.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Awest, have you read "His Needs, Her Needs?" You could use his letter as the opening to another letter from you stating what you need from the marriage as well.
It could be your Marriage Constitution.
I hope the weekend goes well for you. If he totally bails, I've got an extra hockey ticket to a game about 3 hours from you.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Thanks for the offer, and yes...he bailed. He says because he had to change plans due to S's christmas program and he forgot he made a dentist appointment Monday. We are supposed to leave after the dentist. Sorry, but a no on the hockey game. I have S to think about.
I have already told him many times what I need from a husband, written, text it. Saying a need a faithful committed husband so thank you for the advice, but it has been done.
I have a lot to think about. It is going to end in an ultimatum in two weeks unless some miracle happens.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
I can't believe he bailed! This was his chance to put his words into actions! I'm so sorry to hear that Awest. I hate the "excuses". It's very disappointing but like you told me, don't let him ruin your Christmas. Enjoy your winter break and the time you will get to spend with S and other family. I hope he does come thru with the mini vaction on Monday with you and S though. Give him a chance to make it up to you, but unfortunately, you still have to expect the worse as well. Well definitely tomorrow, do something fun for you and S - you were talking about possibly going ice skating, right? Try to have a good weekend and stay strong!
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
S and I went outside on Saturday and played in the snow. He loved it and made his first snowman. Then he had play practice. H called and was a little perturbed I was going with S to play practice, but I reminded him that he said we weren't doing anything so I made plans. We had a little break down, but didn't fight and actually talked things out. H came to the program today and we had a lot of fun.
The good part...we are leaving tomorrow at noon to stay three days, two nights in a suite in Shaumburg. We love going there and it isn't costing much because H got a bunch of discounts. We are going to the mall tomorrow then Medieval times. Tuesday it is kind of free to hang out and chill. We have a suite so that will be nice for S and let me relax some as well, which I am looking forward to. Then leaving Wednesday to go to the aquarium and back here. I am really excited and so is H so we will see how it goes. It is funny because he told a ton of people about it (our couple friends from church) at the christmas party we went to. That is a good sign because he started to talk to them again. Overall i am excited just to get away and have some time to relax. There is a pool where we are staying, and they have complimentary breakfast. Plus with it being a suite we can bring snacks for S so we don't have to worry about him fussing any time because he wants a certain food. AND...I don't have to worry about a thing. I just get to relax. H will be there to help with S and it will just be a worry free few days. H says he is going to leave his phone here so hopefully he does so there won't be any OW issues.
I am just going to go in this and have fun because after everything the past 8 months, I deserve some pampering. I will probably check this tomorrow morning and then not again until Wednesday night, so I hope all have a great week and I will post you on good or bad when we get back.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
You definitely deserve some pampering. Relax and go with the flow. Enjoy your time away with him and S.
Me - Faithful wife H - WAH Bomb: Fall/2009 - PA/EA with OW for 1 year Both in our early 40's M - 16 years w/ no kids T - 21 years Separated since July of 2008 - H living with his mother
He did say at the end of the note how thankful he is that I have hung in there and not given up on him when it would have been easier to do so. It was some good. We will see what happens this weekend and next week (possible vacation). He also has to talk to my brother about going to his house for the family Christmas. I think he should ask to go instead of me asking because my brother and him still have the beef not me and my brother.