Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Thank you 25..I do appreciate it. I really do. You are also right. I know I need better boundaries with exh.

Today has been a magical day in a way. God has opened my eyes to how exh always has a motive (explain in a bit if baby lets me) and He also brought this woman into my life at just the right time.

So exh brought by the checks today. I opened the door and he blew past me demanding to know where she was! He said hi to her, stayed 15 minutes and left. On his way out I said thank you and he said 'yeah' and SLAMMED the door. WTF! Right then and there it took all I had to hold myself back and not go off. His niceness always has a motive...in this case he thought I would let him slide on his responsibilities. I am now convinced that I am going to garnish with the explanation that it causes too much stress between us and I don't want it to be an issue anymore.

The woman from the mommy group today and I have been texting. She invited me to use her sitter tomorrow morning and attend an Alanon group. I haven't been able to go due to childcare reasons. Is this an open door? She wants to get together and pray...for our ex/husbands, but for us to also be unstuck (I swear her words!). Then maybe hit coffee afterwords.

So tonight I go to my moms for dinner with baby. When I am there she tells me my brother is getting a divorce. Not sure the reasons and all of a sudden I felt this panic inside. I told her I didn't want to talk about it yet. Need some time. Evidently he is the one initiating it.

I get home a few minutes ago and there was an email FWD from exh..his sister sent him an email list for people to bring food Xmas day and wanted him to fwd to me. She had me down for 2 desserts..enough to feed 20 people. Guess what she had exh down for? Flipping rolls! Thats it! I get 2 desserts and he gets rolls? I am going to say I won't be there for dinner.

Don't give up on me. I know I am in a bad place. I am hoping the events and eyeopeners were for a reason today.

Ok, bath time for baby. Talk soon.