The continuing saga of P ...

[P17]

I was referring to this comment:

W also said to me one time that when she is done with an relationship, she never goes back.

I mean that you have improved yourself and continue to do so. So her old perspective of you is not the same. She is seeing your changes and will be curious.

Ahhh, but she's not seeing them. Remember she has completely 100% disappeared off the radar (which I still maintain is a huff - D's car seat non-response confirms it).

Most of my changes are not externally visible. Okay I'm going out more, she isn't seeing that. I have actually gone back 90% to the guy I was when I met her. However, that would mean rewinding the clock back 7 years. I actually feel I am the guy she met with 7 years experience. One thing I kept saying to my IC was that once W left, the depression and anxiety lifted almost immediately and I realised the depression I had was situation based (as the doc told me before but I didn't listen). Once that lifted, the old P was actually quietly sitting on a chair, reading paper and smoking away on his pipe (I don't smoke - it's a metaphor :)) and he then lifted his head and said 'ah, you're back - about time'.

I am the old P. But I have 7 years of experience under my belt. I also have about 12-18 months of living that I missed thanks to the depression / anxiety / relationship issues and I am aching to get back out there and have some fun!

The P she left behind is different than the P today. Ergo, (LOL) she won't be going back to the old relationship. She would be starting a new one with a new P.

You are 100% correct and I know, from my heart, that if we started again, as I wanted it, from the very beginning (dating) that I would sweep that woman completely off her feet before she knew what would have hit her. Not becuase she is my W, but because that is the guy I was ... fun, energetic, risky, daring and up for anything ... mr comedian, mr sociable, mr fun.

besides, we have all said things...like "if you cheated on me that would be a deal breaker. We would be DONE!!"

We have. However, you don't know my W. Then again, I don't know her either now .. LOL.

Thanks newmama.