A Choice

[patpat]

Anyone tell me what "Retrouvialle" is?

[patpat]

BTW.... had a great day at work today... spent most of it in the country as there was not alot to do inside the office today.

Got out and worked with the crew! Loads of laughs and fun.

Another question. My W loves letters. A friend of mine knows this about W and told me I should write her one. I know this goes against DB, but it is very true, she likes those things.

Just a thought.

[TrentC]

Anyone tell me what "Retrouvialle" is?

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

[patpat]

@DEEP

I do not think my W will care for any boundary I set right now. I know that she tells me (last we spoke) that she does not know what she wants right now. I am having a hard time because I know she is still hanging out with OM. All of her friends are as well. Boy, this may be a long ride.... But then again, I really do not know what she is thinking or doing. I do know that she is not staying @ OM's place. She returns each night to her girlfriends house where she stays.

I am also not good with boundaries. Mostly due to fear I know. But if W does not care about it, then what good is it. Also, I feel that if I set a boundary (and I have) she will just feel as though it will be easier to just D. If I tell her to stop or else, it may push the last straw. At least now, she is thinking about our situation and the slight possibility of MC.

As for you, glad to hear W came back. I can imagine all the pain you have felt. Feeling some now myself.

But sounded like things are going a lot better now.

I believe my W will come home also....

Thanks Deep!

[patpat]

Thanks Trent

Will check it out!

[soleil]

Pat, I don't think you should write her a love letter, as much as you want to. Go dark dark dark like a black cloud.

[P17]

Also, I feel that if I set a boundary (and I have) she will just feel as though it will be easier to just D.

Pat, as much as it will pain you to hear this and for me to say it, if a spouse wants to D because you set a boundary then for goodness sake let them go. They are no good to you or anybody else. That is what children do - throw tantrums and their toys out of the pram.

Is that is the kind of spouse you want, then good luck with that.

[P17]

Pat, I don't think you should write her a love letter, as much as you want to. Go dark dark dark like a black cloud.

Pat, if you write a love letter I will come over there and twat you with a 2x4 personally.

I've posted bits and pieces on this thread but I feel so strongly about this that I have to say it.

For a bit of history.

I did this. I wrote W a love letter. From the heart. It's one of those love letters you can really only ever write one of. I sobbed, I wrenched from the heart, I ached. I pulled every bit of love I had and poured it onto the page - 4 A4 sizes (about a Letter size in the US). I hand wrote it with a fountain pen onto writing paper which amounted to 33 small pages. I even put the cologne W bought me for our wedding onto a few pages.

Do you know what she did with this letter? She didn't even read it. She said she couldn't.

Don't do what I did and pursue her. It won't work and it's not worth it. Listen to the guys here, they will not steer you wrong.

Remember, write the letter and I'm getting on a plane ...

[patpat]

@P17

I guess it would be safe to say "I have not reached the point that I need to be at to really let go" and I know that I haven't.

I do understand though. I am just hard headed. Most so "scared".

Thanks for the reply. I know you are right.

[patpat]

@P17

I did write a letter. It was not a true love letter, but a nice one. I did not give it too her.

I did send her a text asking how we are to communicate during separtion with regards to some bills we have that are still shared, you know... who will keep track of until we split them so not to double up a payment or miss one. During this same time, I mentioned I wrote a letter to her and asked if I could sent it via e-mail.

She told me "no", hang onto it, then said, "I'll read it when I get home".

I never told her what type of letter it was, but even if I just wrote it for myself, it was enough... I threw it away.

On a lighter side... I would love to meet some folks for the board. So I'll give it too her. Take a plank across the face, and say hello to a friend. Thanks P17

Oh, you said write the letter and you were boarding....

How do you take your coffee.... lol