Quote:
Here's everything in a nutshell.


Ok.

What you've been doing to move on is a good thing. The problem that you don't seem to be understanding is that your job, your R, etc. all follow the same pattern.

Quote:
The rest of us can see that, but you can't. Don't know why, but that's the way it is. The indecision and codependence in your R, your previous drinking, etc. is the main problem. The issue with your W and your job, your kids, etc. are results of that basic problem. Simple as that.

When you deny, get flustered, get pissed at the venues to help you deal with that root problem of yours (either the boards, or AA) it's almost like you don't want to change that part of you. So you end up going in a circle. Repeating the same scenarios.


I get tired of being asked about AA and told to keep going there. It isn't in my plans right now.

Quote:
But like your W and her infidelity, you can't make her change until she sees that what she's doing is wrong. Same here. We can't MAKE you see what your root problem is. You have to read the posts, understand them and most importantly - believe that you have to make those changes.


I get that.

Quote:
You also have an issue with needing instant gratification. Case in point. You stated how you need to take out money from your 401K to take care of some basic expenses. Yet you go out and buy a Droid phone. I consider myself a techgeek, but I have a plain cellphone with no web capability because in the long run it saves me a few dollars.


Good point. I usually don't blow money like that, but I let my excitement get the best of me for the phone and haven't really regretted it. It has been nice to have and use. But your point is valid none the less.

Quote:
I think it was CG who also gave you a whole list of ways to save money. How many of those have you tried?


Actually I do pretty well at saving. My grocery bill is near to nothing when it is just me. Occasionally I go out to dinner. I did blow some money earlier on trying to figure out my life and letting loose. But I am now rebuilding that and have gotten that out of my system.

Quote:
See it seems like you're looking to go the quick and easy route whether it's your career, R, or personal life.


Always seems easier, but doesn't generate the results needed in the end. Everything is hard work that has to be stayed on top of and pursued for the ultimate rewards.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...