Can I save my marriage?

[Kettricken]

That was it. Does the man really think i am going to give him any affection after he tells me he is taking off for a single kidless snowboarding weekend? No invite for me, no anything. I don't think so. You move back in, want affection, want to do family things with me, have xmas with me, and then you ditch me and the boys to go be single. I don't think so.

Well .....

First, it's not that I disagree with you in principle. You live like a single man or you live like a married man, which means you at least consult with the mother of your children about such matters as a 4-day skiing holiday, not announce it as a foregone conclusion.

But you are seriously pissed at him about this, and you KNOW it is coming out in your tone and attitude, though you have said nothing. You are expecting mind-reading here, and it's not going to really get you anywhere good. If you continue to be angry about this and finally come out with it (which is what usually happens), he will have plausible deniability. "You *never* said it bothered you!!!" And you know what? On this one, he'll be right.

I know he's acted like a great big baby in many ways, and your situation is still kind of limbo; that's *gotta* be hard. For both of you.

But you just can't build anything solid going forward on "You should have known" and/or tit-for-tat withholding and coldness. IMHO.