Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

Thanks folks.

That is pretty much the approach I take with my cousin. I give my thanks, I mean I do appreciate whole heartedly what she's done for me. Like I said in post last week, I found myself using the "I'm sorry you feel that way" validating, several times without even thinking about, lol.

My only rationale is she is just nervous to be alone again when things come together for XW and I and the time is right to all be under the same roof again (which god I wish was today, but that's just not right). I told her plain and simple it would be at least a 6 month minimum before that could happen and I'd need a second job in order to do it, which in our current lovely economy isn't easy to get.

She also knows how invested I was/am to my M and family. I NEVER wanted my kids to ever endure what they have in the past 2 years, EVER. She did trash talk XW from time to time. Sometimes I'd agree to a lesser extent or degree of her intended message, but at most times I alwasy defended my XW. My cousin always said how it would be great for XW and I to work it out someday, but I think she was saying it to console me and that she didn't believe that someday, TODAY, would ever come.

G,

You learn a lot through DB-ing and apply it to your everyday life. And learning to avoid a conflict until everyone's emotions are in check is one of the biggest lessons I've learned.