Thanks Dudess & PD, ((((()))))
I haven't been on the boards for a while. Work is off the charts (we do a lot of events) so i"ve been working 70 hr. weeks & have 1 more big one next Tues. Then have a couple grant deadlines by Dec. 30th. Don't mean to complain, I know many people would love to have a job. And maybe it's good to be really super busy now, since I don't really want to deal w the holidays. But have done -0- GALing, just work. Not very balanced.
I did ask H to watch the dogs last Sun. night when I had to go out of town. When I emailed him Sun. a.m. to confirm he'd watch them, he responded, "Yes I may bring them back here but I'll definitely watch them." "here" being where he's living, OW's house. Which he STILL refuses to address. That upset me a bit, the thought of my boys being over there. But I decided I can't control what H does, no matter how messed up. And the dogs are still partially his responsibility. I returned Monday & they were exhausted, so I'm pretty sure he took them. I debated thanking him, then later evening emailed him a 1 line TY. He replied, "No problem. It was good to spend some time with them and sleep with them." I'm surprised he gave me that much detail. Whatever. I can't make sense of anything he says or does.

I had a minor meltdown the week before, what happened was I got a yr-end bonus at work, totally unexpected. I quickly realized that it would get deposited into our joint checking acct. just like my paychecks, so I asked our office mgr. if they could issue a live check just for the bonus. They did & I put it in my newly opened cking. acct. Oddly I felt a little guilty, although my sister promptly 2 x 4'd me out of it. A few weeks later I get an email from H: "I noticed you stopped depositing your payck into the cking acct. Should I take $$ for mortgage out of savings?" (Savings $ is actually my inheritence money, has been sitting there for a few yrs). This is where my overworking really screwed me up cause I hadn't cked the finances lately, & found my paycheck never was deposited! Yikes! Sure enough, they issued me a live ck for my pay. Meltdown occurred when I tried to do an online deposit (our bank is out of state, usually have direct dep. or just mail deposits). When I couldn't do it I call cust. svc. & the girl told me only H had privileges to do this & I'd need to do under his profile (which I do not have info to do) and he had me entered as his EX SPOUSE in said profile. Meltdown triggered! I was at work & had to shut my door. Just when I feel like there's no way he could hurt me more than he already has and I've already grieved as much as I could, he comes along & annihilates me again. Should I be surprised? Not really. It's amazing how after all this time I can still have such deep grief. That really set it off. I recovered was feeling better by that evening, but today I'm down. I need to get more sleep. I hope everyone is doing well, or at least doing better. I look forward to reading & posting more soon after work calms down as I really need the positive reinforcement & messages I get from others here. This really is something I have to work at, & I really want to be better. Wishing everyone a great week,
LFA