I'm not sure if this is TMI but not sure where else to process this. I'm sure other "piecers" have navigated the waters of getting their sexual relationship back on track after reconciling.
H and I had a great sex life before the A. He has always said that, and said that sex was not the issue of why the A happened, nor was it the appealing part of the A. H said he didn't really enjoy sex with OW as she was quite demanding, selfish, and "rushed". H and I have always been creative, tried different things, both enjoy lots of foreplay, etc.
Anyway... prior to the A, H was starting to struggle with performance for the first time ever since I've known him. I have a pretty high drive, but I felt I was quite understanding and didn't pressure. That's when he first started talking about being unhappy with his life etc. That continued since. When I discovered the A (even when I thought it was only an EA) our sexual R stopped and I moved him into another bedroom. H tells me he had performance problems with OW as well, at times not being able to perform at all, which would upset her greatly (apparently).
Since reconciling, the sex was great at first (a bit like a second honeymoon). Now, H is struggling again. It seems to have coincided with the guilt starting to set in.
What I could use help with is.... how do I respond? I have been understanding and no pressure.
But, do I pursue so he feels wanted? do I back off all together and let him iniate when he feels up to it (no pun intended! lol). In the past I always did a lot of initiating, but now am worried about pressuring...
any ideas...? is there something i should be doing differently?
