You need to stand up to adultery at all times. Your daughter need to hear it from your wife. You need to be there to make sure she does not spin it. You daughter needs to know that you do not agree with adultery and you do not agree with seperation or divorce.
Ya I had a talk with D8 tonight befor this and i told her she needs to have mommy talk and explain thinigs to her why she did what she did.. And I told D8 how to talk nicely ask for honest truithful answers.. and to tell mommy you want the truth. I kept stressing D8 to be nice when asking and don't get snotty if mommy lies just tell her you are old enough to hear the truth
ya I printed it already... I have been writing the letter to go with it, its tough not to just go off on her but yet i need to still let her see its what she did and she cant just try and say "I did this because dad did or was ......." its her actions not mine I know I was a great husband and father and she was just too selfish. and she still has her head in the clouds
WL I haven't read your stich.. been meaning to but got busy with my own... as a bit of tactical advice I'd think VERY carefully about sending that letter of yours.
Simply because WAW's don't want "lessons" from the LBS and are not open to logic or rational thinking.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
No letter. But you are there for the conversation. If you print that letter. You burn it.
You prepare for the conversation. You make sure she does not shift blame. You make sure she owns up to what she is doing. You make sure you do not hide your pain. You make sure your children know this is not what you want. But what she wants.
You keep her on topic. And you make sure your children know this is not their fault.
You also will need some standard fog answers to get her back on track. One liners.
Go in with a script yourself. The truth. If she shifts blame say something like.
" Please. Lets keep to the topic onhand here."
Other ones to have on hand.
" I do not want to seperate our family." " I do not want to divorce." " I understand how you can feel that way. Please return to the topic onhand here with daughter."
When the conversation ends. Go with your daughter. Leave the room with her and confort her.
If there is silence during the conversation. Let it linger.
You control the conversation. You are going to show your daughter what it is to a father , and husband who is standing up for his family.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
thatnks guys but the matter is Im done trying with her.. im in full this is it im done and moving on mode. I dont even talk to her anymore the closest I ever let W get to me is about 200' the kids get out of my car and walk to hers. I want to send this article with a letter telling her... since you want to co-parent here you go read this and then state the truth to the kids no more BS!
I want to send this article with a letter telling her... since you want to co-parent here you go read this and then state the truth to the kids no more BS!
You can't teach an adulterer (PDT).
Don't send a letter. If you're done, you're done.
Are you honestly done though? If she came back to you tomorrow asking for another chance, what would you say? Honestly.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
in all honesty ALL honesty I would say no! go sit down and prob think wow there was a chance to get back what I miss. but missing her and who she is now are two totally differant things.. so sad but true I would want her but wont take her back
