feel like giving up - talk to me!

[Gnosis]

Luv, you shouldn't have lied about going shopping. It's one thing to be mysterious and quite another to be a deceiver. This is a dangerous game you're playing. Once the lies start they're never going to end. Should the two of you start working things out he is NOT going to be very impressed with your deception.

Be sure you KNOW what you are doing.

[luvless]

Deception? LOL cracking up - looks who's the liar

Ok ok I'm done...I know what you mean. I am not pushing it.

[Gnosis]

I'm glad you're done. Luv, its one thing to outright lie and another to plant seeds of doubt. For everything you do there will be a day of reckoning where you have to explain yourself and convince the other party that they still deserve your trust and respect.

EDIT: EVERYTHING I am doing in my own sitch is being documented and when the time comes I'll be able to support my actions for the innocent interactions that they are going to be. Its a major exercise in gas-lighting with good intentions.

[luvless]

I'm glad you're done. Luv, its one thing to outright lie and another to plant seeds of doubt. For everything you do there will be a day of reckoning where you have to explain yourself and convince the other party that they still deserve your trust and respect.

EDIT: EVERYTHING I am doing in my own sitch is being documented and when the time comes I'll be able to support my actions for the innocent interactions that they are going to be. Its a major exercise in gas-lighting with good intentions.

Amazing...just really....amazing

[Gnosis]

Here's something TrentC put up... some quotes from our host... pretty much sums up what I've been trying to drill into that stubborn head of yours:

"Marriages are rebuilt when the person most interested in making things better stops pointing fingers & starts taking productive action." --MWD

"You most certainly can change other people, but you must begin by changing your own actions first." --MWD

"When things aren't going well, we spend far too much time over analyzing & finding fault instead of finding creative solutions" --MWD

[Ready2Change]

"When things aren't going well, we spend far too much time over analyzing & finding fault instead of finding creative solutions" --MWD

Here is something else that I feel is important:

"If you do not like the current agreements you have in place, you are free to make new agreements"

[luvless]

"When things aren't going well, we spend far too much time over analyzing & finding fault instead of finding creative solutions" --MWD

Here is something else that I feel is important:

"If you do not like the current agreements you have in place, you are free to make new agreements"

You cannot change agreements when the person refuses to talk to you.

[luvless]

Here's something TrentC put up... some quotes from our host... pretty much sums up what I've been trying to drill into that stubborn head of yours:

"Marriages are rebuilt when the person most interested in making things better stops pointing fingers & starts taking productive action." --MWD

"You most certainly can change other people, but you must begin by changing your own actions first." --MWD

"When things aren't going well, we spend far too much time over analyzing & finding fault instead of finding creative solutions" --MWD

I know G - but marriages are rebuilt when BOTH parties want it.

[rockedworld]

That is true Luv, but you can create a lot of change by working on yourself... that does impact him as well... he just won't know it right away. Focusing on you is good for you, helps you be a better person no matter what the outcome of your M is, and sometimes... just sometimes... it gets the WAS's attention and creates some turn around in the M.

Bottom line... you have NO control over your H and the choices he is making. You only have control over YOU and so that is where to focus your energy.

Work on self care. I lost 40 lbs during my sitch and am only now starting to sleep well since April. If you need to take sleep meds for awhile (I did) it helps. Be loving to yourself. You are worth it!
Hugs!
Rocked

[Coach]

"When things aren't going well, we spend far too much time over analyzing & finding fault instead of finding creative solutions" --MWD

Here is something else that I feel is important:

"If you do not like the current agreements you have in place, you are free to make new agreements"

You cannot change agreements when the person refuses to talk to you.

Really??????

Didn't the person who refuses to talk to you just change the agreement?

Luv, you will continue to feel this way as long as you let things happen to you - victimized. To stop being a doormat you need to stop lying down. You can handle it.